Is fear always bad?

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Does fear need to be bad, always?

Yes, it is tarrying, yes it is a terrible vibration to hold and hard to shake off. I know it well. But it is also a messenger, it is a pointer towards something that is asking for help, or it can also serve a purpose of a propeller into action just like fire qualities.

Presence of fear can point towards a past trauma – yes. In that it is linked with an association of what had once been scary and threatening to us. We attach to that vibration, which gets activated when we are reminded of similar scenarios or have similar interactions. This is one part of what occurred for me, which I later became aware of, but what it also made me think of is another way of reaction to it. It is about relating to this particular emotion in a different way. I don’t feel like it would be serving its purpose if I always react to it in the same way. If one continues to do the same thing, results will always be the same. Something new needs to come through here to facilitate change and growth in me. There is a decision and a choice involved here again just like in my previous post, one can choose to continue aligning with something indefinitely or we can switch our perception of what it can be rather than what it had always been.

So, I asked myself a question ‘Is fear always bad? Does it have to be’? No

What came to me, as I walked through the forest touching my trusted trees, was the feeling of caring about something, caring a lot, too much one might say. When fear grips you it is an indication that you care about something or someone. We are all familiar with that. However, instead of working against it what if we worked with it? What we chose to channel it into something productive, beneficial and full of love? I am seeing it as an opportunity to do something different, to change something or take a different attitude or a route in order to express that care and love that we feel with the help of our fear as a guiding force.

It is a switch in perception or rather an extension of what fear means. It is allowing for fear to tell us more, to show us more, to align with its voice, because often fear comes in the moment and not always connected to anything in the past. It can simply be a vibration seeking its expression to point us towards a certain action or behaviour. The key here is to listen to the emotion, which is manifesting within you, not running away and rejecting your own voice, but quietly listen.

Someone pointed out fear within me earlier this week and yes, they are correct and on reflection I know where it came from and what it means, but rather than focusing on where it came from I am choosing to focus what I can do with it and what it really feels like when I sit with it. When we sit with an emotion giving it full acceptance and love it begins to tell a story, its vibration changes and something new gets introduced into the mix. I find emotions are not solid or static or one-dimensional. They flow, they are present one minute and gone the next, they are fleeting and if caught can be valuable to us.

My fear represents my determination and drive. The reason I scared is because my dream is big and meaningful. If it wasn’t I wouldn’t be scared. Have you ever experienced wanting something or someone so much you feel terrified it would slip through your fingers or something would take it away from you? Yes. Me too. That’s the indication, firstly, of how much you care. Secondly, it is an opportunity to do something with that in way of expressing your care whether it is manifesting love or achieving a goal with absolute certainty. Then, at least you are not surrendered to fear alone, you are journeying with what the fear means and acts as a catalyst towards. Direct it in the direction of positive intention, meaningful relationship, success through hard work or caretaking someone with the most open heart you have. Fear then turns to love and love conquers all. The choice is yours, fear can stop us, but fear can also propel us and transform into love ultimately.

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It is all about perception…

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We are all familiar with an expression ‘jumping through hoops’. What it often implies is a kind of struggle, difficulty and doing something one is not keen on necessarily. Someone mentioned it in conversation to me recently describing a situation where it looks like there was no enjoyment in actions and tasks, i.e. there was a feeling in that person that the other was having to ‘jump through hoops’. It can be so, however, it got me thinking in terms of how many times certain expressions we are used to imply generalisation for us all. I am not a fan of generalisation due to awareness of just how individually different and unique we all are. Many find generalisations helpful. It makes them feel like they fit in, they feel understood and safe somehow. It offers a quick explanation to what they are going through and their agreeing to the statement in that moment is almost automatic.

I began to think deeper about the concept of ‘jumping through hoops’ and what its vibration offers to us. Does it always have to be difficult and tinted with negativity or something unpleasant? Sure, the hoop can be visualized as an obstacle, covered in raging fire and something very hard to overcome, which requires us pushing ourselves to limits to get to the other side. Is there another vibration in that ‘jumping through fire’? It depends how one looks at it, how one perceives the situation they are in.

As I walked in the woods this morning what came into my awareness was an arch, or a beautiful ring through which one can walk, but it wasn’t covered in angry fire, but blooming roses.

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My consciousness immediately took me back to the conversation I refer to above earlier this week and within my body I felt an opening around my heart. I smiled. The vision of the rose-covered arch became magnified and I could smell the scent of the blooms and feel their tender foliage. It was full of life and hope. For flowers to bloom in its most beautiful manifestation they need nurturing and careful attention, they need love and watchful care. It is not an easy task to keep something alive and thriving. Flowers on the arch are manifestation of spirit in nature. They are filled with sparkling aliveness and sweet scent, which affects our senses. Have you ever tried to merge with a flower? Shapeshift? It is one of the most satisfying and delicious experiences and one of the easiest, as flowers are inviting to the soul in their beauty.

I then imagines what if we switch the idea of ‘jumping through hoops’, which feels heavy and a struggle to walking through rose-covered arches instead. By switching our perception of what we are doing, we align with a different vibration all together. It is still not easy, as to truly walk through the arch of blooming roses we must ensure those roses are in bloom and flourishing, otherwise it wouldn’t walk, but in that vibration we do not forget our efforts and we celebrate our achievements and from one arch to the other we carry the gift of hope and love for ourselves and goals we set out to achieve. We work hard in-between the arches and there are often many to walk through, but it becomes a pleasure rather than a chore, something we need to do to get to the end. It becomes a journey, which then makes the destination ever so more fulfilling and joyful.

This year for me consists of an end goal, which is in sight, however, to reach the destination there are many obstacles to overcome. There is a step-by-step plan, which I have in mind and working through, but instead of making it feel like I am jumping through hoops I choose to walk through rose gardens full of arches alive with love and hope. I choose to enjoy every single step however difficult. I choose to remain at one arch at a time and not rush the journey of achieving sweet results awaiting at the end.

It is all about perception of a task or an event and it always helps to look deeper within allowing for signs and answers to come through. It is all about what we choose to align with and listen to whether it is generalised or highly individual. Nature facilitates that process for me always and there is nothing that I trust more than Nature, which activates my inner voice the most and connects it to the beating heart of what matters in that moment, that day, that week.

Much love

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End of winter Imbolc 2017

Imbolc 2017I sat on an early morning train to London feeling apprehensive yet excited at the possibilities that might await me at the end of my journey. I felt a slight smile touching my lips and became aware of a warm feeling within, which reassured me I was in the right place, at the right time. I continued by observation of passengers looking at their faces wondering what they might be thinking, feeling and where the train was taking them on this morning of Imbolc 2017.

Imbolc is my favourite Sabbat, which always feels fragrant with delicate scents of crocuses, tulips and daffodils to me. Snowdrops begin to poke their innocent white heads out of the ground preparing of the play of spring ahead. Those are the first signs of the earth beginning to wake up in the next few weeks. We are not out of the winter yet, but I always feel this energy of fresh, newly promised possibilities around me. I feel grounded in this day, which is particularly useful when today I am taking a journey towards exciting possibilities of working in a hospital with patients and other team members. It is all happening and there is a sense of disbelief that this is actually possible. The outcome of today is yet to be known, but I am filled with hope.

It wasn’t an easy ‘birth’, with a lot of people and energies completing for space and I found myself breathing into my heart with reassurance that whatever was to happen would be for the best. I resolved to being myself and presented with authenticity. It worked. I got the place and the manifestation of that felt so fast that amidst pure joy I felt overwhelmed by this new beginning.

Success and achievement is the primary happiness signature for me. It makes me feel expanded in all senses, full of joy and hope. I feel truly satisfied, a feeling I embody within myself. It feels good.

On the way back I reflected on my encounter with Brigit on the train and how real that was. She felt so present and free-flowing in her deep wisdom and knowing. I am filled with gratitude and love for the possibility of connecting to deities and their sacred energies if and when needed or called. Imbolc has been the most ‘deity present’ celebration for me so far when Brigit never fails to be close to me with her support and teachings.

Blessed end of winter!

‘Get back on that road’ Nature said…

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Following on from my post on 2017 signature this is my experience, as reflected back to me by nature perfectly. This is an aspect of my spirituality, which is deeply rooted in knowing that nature always gets where I am, where I need and want to be and where I should be in any given moment. It is non-directional in a traditional sense and neutral, however once I learnt to hear its unique voice I learnt to understand what it means by its often very subtle pointers. She does speak through trees, ground under my feet, through bird song and rustle in bushes. It always speaks and there is always something worth listening to especially when I come for guidance and advice.

The woods this morning stood uninviting. Saying it out loud sounds somewhat strange, which, to me, means there is mystery to be discovered. Things are not always what they seem, I learnt that a long time ago. I hear bird song and follow its music into the woods, yet in the next moment it is drowned by the sound of traffic and air noise followed by loud dog barking and figures walking close by. I can’t settle and I am walking on the paved path unlike my usual choice of places to walk. I notice that. I want to see and smell pines. I know that’s what I seek and I turn off the paved path. I come towards green fluffiness of pines standing beautiful in the rain. I pick a branch from the forest floor to smell it yet it is missing the fragrance I expect. It is dull, it is not felt and I begin to feel like the forest pushes me out, back to the paved path.
The noise of traffic and air doesn’t subside, it is constant and the bird song is no longer present. I look beneath my feet, it is muddy and soggy. It is cold. I feel disjointed and my vision is very obscured by irritating fog in my eyes. I sense anger and disappointment and decide  to walk back to my car.
What was that about? What does it say about where I am right now? Drowned by noise, people, traffic. Chaotic. I feel the woods pushing me towards what is in the moment. I must be amidst it, trees say, not in solitude walking in the rain but in connection with human, mundane and noisy. This is not the first time I hear this message and I recognise it as s lesson of not trying to escape something but fully staying with what is. It is about the Earthly, grounded dimension being rather than spiritual and detached when not in connection with the earthly. This is actually the most important lesson of the spiritual, which I am reminded of again and again. I start the car and as I drive back home I feel anticipation in my heart growing to see my boys and get stuck in my life again. I feel renewed, seen and understood yet again.

Lessons in the ‘neutral’

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Having difficulty in communicating? Coming up against conflicts?

Take up a neutral position. You might know it all, but you might know nothing at all. It is polar opposites that cause problems and when you notice you have taken either one or the other position you can bring your attention to the mid-point. What if you are about to know everything and know nothing all at the same time?

Communication changes when instead of engaging in an argument you pause and observe what your body is doing. Is it pushing and pulling? Does it feel uncomfortable? Stay with that without going either way and allow for energies to settle. Actively listen to the other, observe their struggle in that moment. Energies travel from one to the other in the moment when one is still the other will also begin to slow down. Watch it in action the next time something prickly arises between you and someone else. What is the outcome? Disengagement from ‘being right’ and ‘knowing it all’ will empower the other to slow their vibration and energies settle for both. It is not disempowering you it is bringing the focus on what is grinding in the moment. Speak if you must, but use softer language, pause, let the other speak, engage with a smile, a nod, ask for a moment to speak. Engage in exchange of equals where both come from a position of their perception. Let your attachment to outcomes go, actively listen and participate rather than dictate. See if communication improves and both engage in the flow from the beginning, middle and end. Let it become an exploration rather than a perceived outcome.
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2017 challenges so far…

2017 signature What a year it is shaping out to be…

This year’s signature is getting involved with life, stepping into that ever-moving flow of things, very busy, that treadmill we all talk about and many want to avoid. This is what is kind of expected of us just to test it out one more time if someone is unsure about the way forward. It feels old, but new at the same time. It is approached from a perspective of ‘give it go, why not, see what else is there to learn’. It is an opportunity to expand, as always, and this year’s offering for expansion is through being busy and very much in life.

It feels I am being pulled towards it. It feels like by the end of the year my desire, purpose and destiny will clarify once and for all. On many levels it feels like the last chance before I step into a concrete knowing, although nothing is ever concrete and we don’t want it to be. There is paradox present, for sure, and it is up to us to work out what that means for us. It is a year to find out exactly what will drive me forward and in what way. In order to get to that understanding I am to get on that fast-moving train into my day-to-day life with challenges and stress very much part of it, it seems. . It feels necessary and part of the learning and part of my evolution.

It also feels like the second attempt of a similar scenario I tried eight years ago when coming out of ‘stay at home mum’ state for the first time and going back to work. It is all about finding things out again in a new way, in a different way and see if this time it brings desires and destinies in line.

I feel resistance to this way already even though I thought that’s what I wanted and this is familiar. It is a challenge to see if I am to navigate it this time with more wisdom and patience. I get it. It is a test.

Signature is getting on with it with patience, loving heart towards myself and others and quiet determination. To see challenges and obstacles as lessons. It is to test my strength and resourcefulness. The thing is my self-belief has never been stronger than this year and I feel there’s nothing I can’t do. Interesting. I am very much in my Warrior self. There is blood, darkness and gold at the same time. There is a feeling of treasure awaiting me yet the road is super difficult to see and even more difficult to walk. A lot of drive, focus, motivation is needed and my warrior is up for that challenge. The feeling for this year is generally good, opportunistic, ‘show what you’ve got’ type of energy.

I do find myself wishing this year away and that’s been present since January and that is part of the process reflecting back to me my own impatience, distortions in fire when frustrated and sometimes difficulties dealing with stress. It is also part of that resistance, push and pull within me. The reason they are reflected is with an aim of awareness and subsequent adjustment of my ways. I need to be present with what is in the moment. Calm, solid steps without the mind rushing into things.

Watch the space…

 

Manifesting quick is not always good

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One would think quick manifesting is a great thing, however, I am finding out it is not always the case. It can be so quick one has no time to settle into an idea of something to be manifested. Often we confuse our desires with needs and mix our attachments and history into the mix. If your tendencies are to do everything quickly, very organised and efficient it is likely you will be able to manifest things quickly. You will possess a strong Air element qualities (good networking, working things out, communicating, create lots of ideas and be inspired a lot) as well as strong Earth element qualities (bring ideas to life, good decision-making, sensible ways of going about things).

What I am being shown lately and, on reflection, not for the first time that sometimes a long game is much better where a range of qualities get tested and clarified and there’s a satisfaction of achieving something at the end of it having gone through a process rather than a single action. This longer process is still manifesting yet being in life at the same time, being present with each step weaving magic carefully with evaluating every step rather than experiencing it so quick it can feel almost unwanted at the end. This puzzled me a couple of times before and the more recent events, which included super-fast manifesting, made me stop and reflect. When what seemed like ‘a dream come true’ action occurred very quickly I was thrown into the sea of emotions and not the ones I would have expected to feel. I felt tangled up, very unclear in my mind with a lot of shadow material of the old original coming forward in me. I couldn’t understand it. This felt like something that did happen before and it made me think about manifesting quick.

We are such animals, I think, that need to have things settled within us. Part of the problem today is that we rush and we don’t stop to hear ourselves, listen to our hearts and slowdown in life, therefore nothing has time to settle in its planning stages and subsequently post- manifestation. I believe we need to pause and often with ourselves to check, to feel, to revise, to ask lots of questions and be in our bodies fully. I failed to do all of the above this time round, which then activated events, e.g. accidents and illness, having to do things I didn’t want, almost on the back of that ‘awesome’ manifestation that happened.

Quick magic and modern life, perhaps, is a way of bypassing the moment of quiet slowing down and settling in the heart. May be they don’t mix well when done impulsively and with what can be described too much Fire energy. Perhaps, manifestation spells and work should be more aligned with Water and Earth qualities within.

This is such a good lesson for me and I hope some of you might relate to this and continue to observe your own magic in this world and learn to navigate it with more awareness, softness and patience. I do have patience, but it seems to present often in a direct competition with my driven, impulsive nature. I need to learn to balance.

I recommend this book on the subject of weaving magic in the modern world.