Inclusion and exclusion

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This week’s insights and explorations are all about inclusion and exclusion. Walking away and joining in.
My dreams have reflected back to me what is playing out in my psyche and I always reflect on what that might mean for me in my waking life. A series of dreams happened late last week where I would be walking away from my responsibilities and connections. There was a sense of ‘throwing in a towel’, giving up on what feels hard and uncomfortable. Those dreams followed by a series of dreams, which explored connection, inclusion and walking through difficulties to see what’s on the other side. The concluding dream was three beds in a room put close together with my bed being the largest and in the middle. There was a feeling of belonging and being accepted into a connection. That felt good. Walking away felt good but a sense of relief was temporary, whereas inclusion felt a more solid, continuous way of being.

This got me thinking about connection and belonging vs withdrawing and walking away, isolation. What is for the best? It comes down to balance and often when opposing dreams occur it tells me of a need to balance things out. Balance is incredibly important for humans to gain a fuller understanding of themselves and their position, role within a group. Balance provides a wider, richer experience of life on the whole. It comes down to allowing yourself to be with discomfort to find out what’s on the other end of it. Very often there are more advantages than disadvantages I find when we push through some barriers consciously and allow ourselves to feel what is not necessarily pleasant in the moment. Rich learning manifests as a result of pushing through fears and resistance. If we stay in a state of resistance nothing changes and growth doesn’t occur. So whichever way we decide to go, whether it is walking away or staying it is vital we are fully aware of what we are trying to achieve. Sometimes walking away is the best thing, but sometimes staying is what’s needed and working through what feels uncomfortable.

I am an introvert by nature and love solitude but in recent years I have been allowing myself to join in, connect and express myself more out there and what transpired is this other side of my personality that thrives in groups and amongst people. I discover I learn a lot through human connections and feedback. I become more balanced and whole. There is a side to me that loves observing and engaging with humans and when that is balanced with honouring my time of solitude and withdrawal it feels better. Through interactions I have become braver to expose sides of me that might not be acceptable and seeing reactions and responses which provide me with a lot of learning. My authentic self is blooming in expressing what is with no judgement or fear.

Humans are complex and there are ways of being within us all that vary depending on where we are and who we are with. Conscious engagement with the whole of us and not just certain parts of ourselves makes it real, human and honest. Through others’ witnessing that honest expression of who I am seems to have an effect on others around and it is that collective growing and exploration that makes relationships so valuable. We learn from one another via connecting with the whole.

Including or excluding yourself should be a conscious choice depending what our intentions are. What would make our experience here on earth richer and more whole? What would be the benefit of one way or another and it is in the mixture and making those decisions for ourselves we find what matters, what works and what makes us grow intimately. Stepping fully into life with a heart open and authentic self present is a manifestation of the spiritual. It is in life we become aware of beauty and ugliness of human nature with full acceptance and non-judgements. It is through other people we become aware of things within ourselves and by exploring ourselves we make others reflect of their behaviours and values.

Being fully present in life and authentic within yourself and on outside is a beautiful thing and all I ever wanted and I am finally seeing that manifestation, which is a result of walking through fears, embracing the whole human nature warts and all and engaging nevertheless always wanting to learn, reflect and integrate.

Today I feel grateful for all the connections that exist in my life.

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