Accepting emotions as they are

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Having a ‘hate everyone’ day and what a curious place to be, I thought as i looked at a tree sticking two fingers up at me with its branches projecting back perfectly what I feel. I begin to wonder what this means, this place where connection is hard and unwanted, conversations don’t flow and feel like every word burns, stabs and spits into my face. Is it fear? Is it anxiety or is it helplessness? What does helplessness teach us? I automatically come to a ‘solution’ based vibration of allowing and surrender but is it what I want to feel or even able to today? Perhaps not. Sitting in the mud of your own shadow is tough but that’s all that I can do, if I further reflect on it, because trying to get out of it is not the answer, it only creates more ‘hate everyone’ and more anxiety and more resistance so I am back at surrender. Is it the right word? Allowing? How’s that? No… Perhaps there isn’t a word there is just a feeling that is present. It wants to be, seen and heard, acknowledged and not pushed away. I think, perhaps, like the feeling that decided to dominate my day is exactly what I need as a whole – to be seen, heard and not rejected. It is not separate from me and I am not separate from it. We are one, we are together me and I say

Be it the way you want to be
Flood my body with your murky juice of
Sadness, grief, frustration and disappointment
Be what you need to be and how you want to be today, as I am you and you are me and we are in this together in the place of deep discomfort and turbulence
When you want to roar I will roar with you
When you want to burn I will offer you my skin
When you slide into a state of freeze I will not try to melt you
We are whole, together and all is well in this day of negative emotion
As I wrote this out I feel better; much better feeling bitterness leaving my body slowly. I feel a reconnection to other parts of me, my heart and my power centre. I am ok.

 

The Demon Lover Archetype redefined

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Today, I am inspired to talk about the archetype of the Demon Lover, the dangerous and dark, the one with energy we are warned against and should be avoiding. Yet, the pull is very strong, it is hard to deny its immeasurable power and awe-inspiring strength of sexuality and will. Think of Heathcliffe and Hades, the King of the Underworld. It is easy to explain that instant pull his energies produce within us and being around him seems like one is drowning and falling into the sweet Abyss.

As I sat in my office this morning I suddenly felt his presence and there was urgency to immerse myself into the energy that was rapidly growing inside of me. This is quite unusual for me, so I was aware of something else happening around me, something that entered into my body and felt delicious wanting to fly through all of me. I made love to him with a single candle burning and incense filling the room. This experience released an immense amount of my inner power and got it moving throughout my whole body. Recent emotional block was also smashed through with powerful sobbing. I felt the deeper grief releasing in me and recognised the connection between grief and sex and how it can work. Read More