Flower deities

It’s all about flowers this week. Their delicate and fragrant pink blanket made me feel alive with what I can only describe as dreamy energy, as if a fairytale setting opened up in front of me and pulled me in.

After a long Pembrokeshire coastal hike I dreamt that I encountered what I now believe were nature spirits or Gods of nature, deities in flower form. I dreamt of all sorts of flowers, vibrant colours of pink, purple and deep blue scrolled in front of me like a kaleidoscope. The whole thing felt intoxicating and bursting out with bright colours. I believe I found new gods to include in my practice – flowers of spring! Something within me resonated with its energy and I experienced its delicious dance within my psyche through my dreams.

The following morning on the island of Skomer flower beings again took my breath away and like a child I could not contain my joy at being surrounded by pink paradise as far as the eye can see.
They are so alive and buzzing with energy quite playful, doll like, a kingdom of colour where the smell spreads around like freshly made candy. Something playful about it as they nod and giggle in the meadow. I never experienced flowers in this way before.

Pink and purple are my colours in nature, so delicate and just the right shade to make me smile and frolick and want to play and on another just stop and stare again with a smile. They give me joy and I often like to kneel in front of them and almost bow as they hang their heads in what feels like a friendly acknowledgment.

These flowers in spring connect me to a vulnerable side, a quality I highly value. They are fragile yet bravely come out every year for the world to see even if it might mean quite a few of them get squashed by careless walkers and some picked by mindless hands. I am sensitive to flowers being picked in the wild. There is just no need. They are on a beautiful display for us all to see already why take it from its rooting space, a space they are most happy and belong.

This new discovery of much deeper connection to flowers that I was aware
of previously made me want to research flower gods, nature deities associated with flowers and roles they play in each season.

 

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Spring, Gold, Transformation

alchemy of transformation

It has been all about the Gold lately, which signifies a special phase of another transformational cycle we are entering into. It can manifest as a new job, a relocation, a completion of a project or a union of some kind. These are fairly general and it can be looked at deeper depending on your personal experience.

Gold is associated with treasure, potential, the energy of the Sun, a harvest of some sort and most importantly the final stage of transformation and coming into your own and shining to its full potential. Perhaps, some or all of these might relate to where you are currently on your journey.

For me gold came in a dream first when I was offered a chalice filled with golden liquid. I drank it and experienced feelings of ecstasy, freedom and serenity like no other. It was a very warming and pleasant sensation in the body and my mind was enveloped in thoughts of contentment, containment and comfort in the present moment.

I feel the season of spring, for me this year, is presentation differently and transforming into something entirely new. This was my intention for this work to occur, as through the years I had noticed a certain pattern, which would play out year after year, so when I paid conscious attention to it and unpicked it apart with the intention to heal I made a decision to work on transforming it with the next year. That time is now. I am already experiencing this season differently. Firstly I have welcomed spring with an open heart this year and I anticipated its arrival more eagerly than ever before. Previous spring had been a sad time for me, a paradox and a split, which presented as a wonderful season on the outside, yet my internal world would be in turmoil. A dissonance was always present.

Only last night standing outside I was acutely aware of just how pleased I am to see the spring this year and this time it wasn’t just words, thoughts. It was a strong felt sense in my body. I feel in love with the world and everything in it. My work is potent with love and care and joy to be in the presence of the human spirit resilient and vulnerable. I am so engaged with it all at the moment and drinking up its rewards and pleasures.

So, for me ‘gold’ is manifesting in that sense of having arrived somewhere new and truly transformed after challenging and dark times. Moving through the alchemical process of transformation, which begins in the dark place and engaging with functions of clarifying things through passion, fire, water and tears till we reach a place of purity and whiteness and feeling we have joined some dots, things began to make sense slowly till we landed with knowledge and insight to embrace where we came from and where we are now. There is a sense of balance also between the forces of the mind and compassion of the heart. At Spring equinox, in particular, it felt solid and in place when I sat with my past on my left and my future to my right, but solidly present in the moment facing what is here and now. A sense of achievement in the present moment and all the potential still waiting ahead. It is the perfect place of here and now. I am holding that golden chalice in my lap and I am overflowing with happiness and there is nothing that can’t be achieved.

Death and rebirth in dreams

death and rebirth in dreams

Dreams are lately filled with things dying, bodies falling apart and fresh blood. There are recognisable themes of death and rebirth and the need to step into the new, which is a signature of this year. This is time to be reborn into a new identity, into the ‘now’ identity. Blood in dreams signifies new life, new beginnings. It is life-giving and our base line and indication we are living and breathing. It has a lovely vibration for me in my dreams and I welcome ‘bleeding’ dreams. I also got to know well that scenes of death, bodies, funerals and all things associated with the ultimate end are ways of showing me that parts of myself, as they are, need to ‘die’, renew, rebirth. In alchemy this process is called Motificatio

Following death dreams there is always an appearance of things transforming and for me it is always associated with love and alchemical marriage of the feminine and masculine. These are my absolute favourite dreams, because of how they feel. Incredible unconditional love surges through my body and all senses as I sleep in deep enjoyment of that experience. Those dreams are often difficult to explain or even express what they felt like as they are beyond words beautiful, other worldly. They are truly an embodied experience of love so huge, which we are part of.

After that stage of there is the birth of the new identity where I make choices in what to wear, what to put in my bag, which route to take and saying no to things that don’t feel right to me. These dreams lately are changing into presenting parts of myself as more assertive, confident and knowing. There is more fire and intuitive associated with them and it feels reassuring and deeply grounding on waking.

We all go through mini-cycles like this again and again, as we constantly renew depending on where we are in life and what is calling to be manifesting. For new to come in something needs to go. Through tracking dreams it can put us in touch with our inner processes on a deep level and images presented to us in dreams can become navigational tools we can engage with on our journeys through cycles.

 

Number 4 and Diamond Symbol meaning

It is becoming clear that the number four and a diamond shape carry a strong significance in my spiritual development, which then throws light on events in my physical life and provides deeper meaning. I feel it has been showing up for the last few months and only last night I had yet another dream, which featured a number four. This dream displayed a real clock on the wall where I focused on the number three thinking that was the END of a certain appointment, I was simply convinced, however, as dream showed it was not, indeed, till the fourth hour that completion was to take place. It came as a revelation to me and felt so knowing and ‘oh yes’ realisation.

The feeling surrounding these insights is one of strong support and illumination in a way of providing me with not just meaning, but grounding and nurturing.

What number four means in a spiritual sense is a completion of some sort whether it is a cycle, a task, an undertaking or a journey. I have known about the meaning for sometime through my transpersonal studies. On looking further it does resonate deeply with my practice and beliefs and I felt recently, e.g. number three (trinity of things) incomplete somewhat. In fact only recently I wrote about Tarot card readings where I talk about four cards readings HERE

As we approach the end of the calendar year and Winter Solstice 2016 I am even more in tune with what might be showing up for me regarding symbols I am witnessing. I really resonate with some information and research out there on number four and diamond shape. HERE is a good article

Four Moon cycles, four seasons, four elements – all important parts to my spiritual practice, which I have deep relationship with.

This, what feels like a change, a new beginning, is pointing me towards solidifying some of my beliefs and practices and adjusting how I see and do things going forward. One insight I had this morning was about the Triple Goddess (Wiccan), which I have always identified with, but again, it is that three that felt incomplete to me and this morning it felt strong. Therefore, the forth aspect came forward to me – a child aspect. It seems ‘she’ (little baby soul and a little girl) wants to get in on the game and be integrated into my spiritual practice as well as serving my psychological development further providing insight into my natural essence. This makes sense to me and before the time of Maiden, which I feel comes around Spring Equinox there is time for a child self, who is essentially ‘in the womb’, in the darkness of winter. This links with all sorts of insights into shadow aspects and those parts of myself that need healing and it is a continuous flow of work, which doesn’t stop. It gets deepened with every change of season.

Another insight that came was about the trinity of sacred lands. I also wrote about this recently HERE and what came to me was the fourth ‘land’, which wants to be included and integrated in the whole of my experience on Earth so far, that is the land of my birth – Siberia, Russia.

I aim to do more work, meditation and analysis on the things above to gain better understanding of what needs attention, change, integration or acknowledgement and I feel very excited by it. I feel touched, privileged and humbled by such beautiful opportunities presented to be through my relationship with spirit and myself on a soul level and a gift of dream life that I have. Always keen to learn and listen I look forward to having my dreams continue bringing me information and messages in the meantime.

IMAGES 

Dreams speak in symbols

I had a dream, which spoke of the masculine energy. It was full of symbols, spiritual foresight, alchemy, the state of inner world and Runes language.

HOUSE

Dreaming of a house or dwelling shows up a state of our inner world at any given moment. I often dream of houses and depending on where I am in life it changes, from a derelict ruin to magnificent palaces filled with space and gold, from towers to small cottages, from small buildings to multi-stored blocks of flats.

Last night it was a perfectly formed, compact flat in an ancient building full of history and spirits. Something like this

I remember touching its exposed old walls and feeling a sense of awe and joy of living in such a sacred place. I felt a sense of legend, wise men and education surrounding me. I had to climb to the dwelling through dark and narrow corridors till I reached the flat I was to call my home and when I made it inside and came up to a an open window I saw the world right in front of me. I could see for miles and horizon spread in front of me filled with beautiful golden light. It felt magnificent and my heart sand with gratitude and peace.

SYMBOLS/RUNES

There was a man in my dream, who wanted me to draw a symbol in the air with my hand. He was giving me instructions on how to do it and I managed to produce one after several attempts. It was this

Meaning: Meaning: movement, work, growth.

URUZ (reference: sunnyway.com)

Uruz: (U: Auroch, a wild ox.) Physical strength and speed, untamed potential. A time of great energy and health. Freedom, energy, action, courage, strength, tenacity, understanding, wisdom. Sudden or unexpected changes (usually for the better). Sexual desire, masculine potency. The shaping of power and pattern, formulation of the self.

This, to me, speaks of the presence of masculine energy within me and how aligned it is with the current season before the Oak king is born again into light on the 21st December. This energy is familiar to me and one of great achievements and productivity. Winter is a highly creative time for me when I do most of my writing and I feel very energetic working on various projects and collecting ideas for manifesting. I often light a Red candle during this time to aid me in my Fire element of productivity, strength and determination.

MASCULINE

It is the time for me when my inner world forms into whole, masculine and feminine together and shows me how masculine energy is often misunderstood and misinterpreted. There are stereotypes of what a man or a woman should be, what qualities they should portray and which they should hide. My dreams often show me how to break through those stereotypes and look within for what it means for me and what is of value to me at the time. The man in my dream was not perfect, was not strong or ‘together’, if anything he was a bit lost, unsuccessful yet holding his head high and opening his big heart. His voice gentle, not booming and strong, full of offering support and encouraging me to make my own choices. It keeps the door open for me, invites me to step into my own masculine power whatever that might mean for me. I have to spend some time after such dreams in quiet contemplation to make sure I really hear him with no judgement.

Approaching sacred time of Winter Solstice when we welcome light into the world once again, look within for your own light and what it means to you. How can you manifest what stirs within your soul in your daily activities and relationships? Is it family, is it creative projects or finding a new way to be, is it consolidating all your resources and feeling yourself as a whole being ready to step on a path of spiritual and Earthly wisdom.

Remember, in dreams what matters very much is how they make your feel. Your emotions and after-dream states are pointers towards what is to be learnt and what to pay attention to.

Blessings!

header image: http://typotic.com/i/dream-world-for-love/

June – my yearly spiritual journey begins

800px-Stonehenge_sun-photo-copyright-flickr-user-Simon-Wakefield-2008

June – the month of spiritual opening

I have been consciously observing my relationship with each season and Sabbatt over the last two years, as part of me growing deeper into my spirituality. Following each month with awareness of energies, shifts, difficulties, preferences  I have come to many extremely useful insights and revelations, which subsequently had an impact on my life in all areas. One of the main insights was that there are certain patterns I go through as the Wheel turns through the year.

Some of you might already know, e.g. the month of May and the festival of Beltain is a difficult time for me due to some trauma that had occurred in my past. May is closely linked to the realm of ‘relationships’ for me. This year was no different; however, as I noticed recurring themes coming in each year I also set my intention to make a conscious shift in NOT repeating certain things going forward. I received upgrades and demands of necessary clearing out of my consciousness and invitation to grow into a new way of being in relation to repeated themes. Very much like a recurring dream until a dreamer gets the message, so to speak, patterns will continue to occur with messages becoming louder and louder. Will see what happens next year in relation to that, as I make what had been unconscious conscious and heal through my material. Very excited, needless to say, to be doing this work and being on this path. It is endlessly inspiring to me to be living the life in alignment with natural cycles and nature’s wisdom.

We are now in June, post-Summer Solstice, and what I have come to realise there is another pattern, which occurs for me during this month, specifically around and post Summer Solstice. This Sabbatt is another period of transition when the Kings are changed and we are beginning our descend towards shorter days and longer nights. This year, by the way, insights have been coming in so profoundly quick, like hitting me over the head with information and ways to move forward. Terribly exciting. This one was no different. The way I came to realise something was going on was the way I was asked to ‘go to sleep’, as if to say ‘there are messages in your dreams you need to know NOW’. A couple of times and, this happened during the day, I was ‘knocked down’ literally and the only way was to my bed to sleep immediately. I found it impossible to stay awake or do anything and, of course, those dreams are proving to be extremely potent with information. During the night dreaming has also become noticably intense. A lot of death occurs for me in dreams at this time, but this is another post all together. Looking back I began to reflect and make links with the month of June and how often at this time a dream journey for the year, the biggest one, would usually begin for me. This is a series of dreams, which hold a story for my growth and development, a story I must write down and follow and go through until it is complete. This year looks no different. I looked at when my spiritual awakening happened, during the month of June around the 20th June, three years ago, and I looked at what followed, which became clear to me June is the beginning of a yearly spiritual journey for me, which would manifest in dream work, travelling to my soul land (The Highlands, Scotland), confronting some difficulties towards the end of summer and coming out the other end a new person at the beginning of Autumn. So, here I am again feeling a particular way about this forthcoming journey I am about to go on. I am excited, nervous and looking forward to it. It usually begins at this time and continues till the end of summer. Watch the space. I will be posting updates on what comes in and happens in hope someone can relate to this process and get inspired by my journey through the seasons and months of the year.

 

Isle of Skye, Highlands, Scotland – the land of consciousness expansion

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My process of diving deep, my journey through dreams and conscious expansion and alchemical transformation took place here this year, on the Isle of Skye, Scotland.

The land lies still in the deep knowing of its majesty. It is rough, wise, ragged, stunningly beautiful, wild, unapologetically powerful, mystical and one with the Universe, one that is a direct reflection of the source consciousness. It is the Universe itself – glorious land, sea, mountains with sky everywhere hanging very low across the island. It knows deeply, it presents openly, it behaves in ways we get inspired by, freely, flowing, expressing all that one needs to know and expressing in the moment.

The land has this eternal quality to it. Apart from the fact that it is very old and it has seen so much in its existence, it gives an impression of being always and forever present in its vibrancy and such peace. If one is to settle on this land, one is to submit, to merge with it, to flow with its scenery and landscape and vow to become as one. It is a true commitment to its own expansion and liberty.

This was like nothing I experienced before. For a few days I felt very uncontained, confused and a bit lost. My dreams threw me into a spiral of emotional and mental turmoil on the very first night here. It was fierce as if I was thrown into my own potential and was shown things I didn’t yet know about myself and it was huge. I was unprepared. The land does not wait for anyone, one has to be brave, open-hearted and present. That was the first lesson I understood within a day or two. Once I understood the purpose of the powerful upgrades that started coming in and realised there was more to come my heart literally exploded into a huge opening. I was entering another level of consciousness expansion.

Isle of Skye land’s energy is cosmic and endless. I contrasted it with the energy, which is more familiar to me, that of forests and trees. This here was something very new. A lot bigger, a lot wilder, a lot more unfamiliar and my resistance was obvious and striking. The lesson here is to embrace the unfamiliar and whatever emotional state land energy throws you into listen carefully, flow with whatever is, as the land has a plan for us to upgrade, the universe works through the land to let us know who we are and what we are capable of. I became too safe, too contained in my practice and on my path, taking the same road again and again. Now is the time to expand my view and take a different road.

Elemental energies on the island were very representative of qualities I needed to pay attention to. Water and Air. Several times while being there I refused to go on a boat. I stated I felt safer on the Earth. Well, of course, I would and there is nothing wrong with the familiar and comfortable, yet it was obvious later on the clear invitation to ‘expand’, to dare try something that could stretch my soul’s arms even further.

Climbing hills and mountains was harder than usual and in my experience I found how self-critical and defeating I have recently become and it didn’t serve me. I almost saw the opposite in my dreams and I knew deep down the being within was crying for being released. Enough with meek and limited view of myself. I did not realise that this was happening in the last couple of months and what a wake-up call. Air element was very telling and representative of how ‘holding my breath’ I have become lately, that’s where my fear lived as well, not in an expansive state of open heart and chest, but in a state of constriction and limitation yet again. Ever since I got back I encountered a few people with the element ‘Water’ messages coming through inviting and encouraging me to explore the deep secrets of being on water and under water and its hidden treasures. I have heard about deep-sea diving, fishing, swimming afar, amongst other invitations of the Universe and have I considered them? Yes, I have, as they are clearly signs of further possibilities for expanding my inner divine.

Notes from the dream diary: ‘I feel I am in some sort of crisis, like I want to open up and feel fully, but I can’t. I want to breathe, but I end up holding my breath. I feel very clearly I am not fully open, I am conscious of my own restrictions. I am tense and holding back’. The purpose of my dreams and me being in that place was to expand my consciousness in order for me to embrace the potential within me unexplored or suppressed. Because of the intense energy of these upgrades my resistance grew and fear came in, doubt crept in. ‘I feel a bit disinterested, detached, wanting something else, not knowing what… wanting to be somewhere else, not feeling much.’

The most intense, emotionally shaking, trauma activating dreams here for me, every night. I found myself on a journey again while in Scotland only this time there was no warning, no preparation, the dreams’ material came with a booming presence and did not leave till it was done. I was receiving upgrades through diving deep into the dark night of the soul. Synchronicity of that experience included me reading this book, which I just picked up from the list on my kindle and that helped me navigate my experience well. I recommend it ‘The dark nights of the soul’.

I went through the process of death and rebirth in an intense representation of my abilities and powers. It was showing me what I could truly do if I was to embrace it and truly take all of my power back. From performing magic knowingly and loving it, to understand what love is, to consciously expanding my awareness of the universe within me – it was

Symbols, which stood out for me were the Burning sacred star, which connected me to the universe with such love; stairs; blood; colours, doors, gates, windows, keys were present in each dream, packing suitcases, number 4 featured heavily

The burning star symbol was the highlight of my whole experience. It was pure magic and emotions that ran through me were powerfully shaking and I felt it in every inch and cell of my physical body. It literally threw me out of my bed with screams and tears.

The Star symbol, Pentagram, Pentacle – there is rich history and representation to this symbol. Some representations are – universal consciousness; wholeness; a symbol of divine perfection; the four elements with the overarching presence of the spirit as the fifth point; our divine purpose in the universe and many more.

Messages: ‘putting all eggs in one basket’ – limiting myself, which does not serve me and suppresses my powers.

Being ashamed of my appearance, which does not fit with the usual ‘tidy’ image of ‘conditioned’ existence. Embracing the many clothes I was wearing rather than looking clean, tidy and presentable. Dreams containing fears and running late represented my choices, my ways of choosing to be and ultimately confirming that no one controls my choices, I am fully conscious to make them and live them out.

At the end of my dream journey on Skye I was flying in a helicopter over the land, taking it all in unafraid (I have a fear of heights), the colour green everywhere, my heart truly open. I was taking in the land and saw everything in an overview. Relieved and overjoyed.

I left the land reborn and truly facing the being that I am. My heart is full open with gratitude, pride and courage that whatever is ahead I will embrace it with no limitation or fears. I can do whatever I set my mind to. Magic runs through my veins and the power of wisdom and knowing is a natural flow of my soul. Compassionate heart and truly understanding universal love will keep me safe and encourage me not to be afraid to be me, to be of service, to fly free over the Land of consciousness.

Thank you Skye for the experience. I can’t wait to visit again and take you into my embrace of love and understanding.

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