Messages from the body

This week’s work is focused on and the first insight is about the physical body. As promised each week I am going to tune into a particular area for exploration with a purpose of gaining deeper insight and manifesting cleansing and healing.
Ideas flowed in this morning as I began my day. My intention was to make a set up for my work, first of all, in order to facilitate energetic, mindful and psychic work to come. Such a place would normally be my altar.
four elements altar, body healing
As the theme unfolding in my awareness was to do with the body I wanted to include the four elements, as the earth/nature holds them so do we in our bodies. Incense for Air, bowl for Water, Wood for Earth and Candles for Fire and purple crystal for Spirit. We are one and my intention was to include nature into the work as I do usually. This allows for deeper insight and connection to myself and to the outside world. It is stormy weather outside today so I had to bring the elements in, which was sort of very relevant in terms of exploring them within myself.
The idea was to explore a particular habit/attachment of mine to do with food and look into whether there was an emotional signature that was stuck within my physical container. I did this with my other physical habit with great success previously. The work is to discover what need or emotion might lie beneath a certain behaviour. It helped enormously and really is the best way to work with any addictive or habitual behaviour, which potentially harms us. It is bringing the wound up to the light and healing it consciously and meeting the need that we are unconsciously trying to meet with turning to various activities and things.
This morning didn’t go according to plan and I do love it when that happens. First of all I noticed huge resistance straight away to doing this work and I noticed myself delaying and delaying and once I was ready for my journeying pretty much straight away I was pulled out of it and insights came in strong and fast before I even did anything. I found that quite striking as it was quick but so illuminating.
I was told loud and clear before I started doing the body scan that it is my broken tooth that needed attention and ‘haven’t I procrastinated enough about it?’ and why wouldn’t I attend to my teeth when there is such a clear need. I felt well and truly told off :O) and yes, why wouldn’t I? Is that a loving thing to do to ignore areas that need fixing in my body and just ignore it? I booked my appointment immediately and went straight away. The universe had an opening for me in the next half hour (what are the chances).
So, the insight is to attend to things that we are actually conscious of first and foremost before delving deeper into possible unconscious reasons of whatever it is that is causing us discomfort in the physical. Quite simple, right, but how many of us are ignoring what is clearly visible, felt and screaming for help? Lack of self-compassion, acknowledgement and self-love could potentially be dangerous not just to our bodies but our well-being on the whole. It felt very different for me as again there was such avoidance and resistance to my making that phone call regardless of how loud the inner voice was. I hesitated as I realised that this was not familiar for me to stand up for myself, so to speak, and how often I had previous ignored it. Earlier last year I would have been in real trouble by ignoring something very serious if it wasn’t for someone else pushing me to make the call. I know I would not have done it myself and I am scared to think what could have been if I ignored the signs.
Deal with what is manifesting, felt and present. What you are fully aware of right now in your body? Where is pain, imbalance, discomfort? Attend to that. Deal with that as soon as you can because why wouldn’t you? Why would your body be less important in wanting to be well than anyone else’s? We are used to care taking others, as it’s been looked upon as such a positive and valued thing to do in the society. Self-sacrifice is an idea that somehow would lift you up above and merge you with God. But what about you? Aren’t you as one with God and nature? If you ignore one you ignore the other. If we really think about it, it doesn’t make sense and it is time to shift out thinking around self-love and compassion and listening to our bodies is one such step towards well-being on the whole.

Space vs enclosure

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The debate started within me after my last visit to Scotland when one week I spent in the North with vast open spaces, wilderness mountains and the sea and the other week was spent in a tiny cottage in the woods. You can read about my experiences HERE. 
What I thought I preferred turned out to be something else and I was asked to consider other ways and it was a challenge.
Recently after spending a whole day in the woods and ‘overdosing’ on nature but not in a good way I was reminded of my experience in Scotland. It made me think further about spaces, my preferences and how things are changing for me as I continue on my healing and spiritual journey.

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Manifesting quick is not always good

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One would think quick manifesting is a great thing, however, I am finding out it is not always the case. It can be so quick one has no time to settle into an idea of something to be manifested. Often we confuse our desires with needs and mix our attachments and history into the mix. If your tendencies are to do everything quickly, very organised and efficient it is likely you will be able to manifest things quickly. You will possess a strong Air element qualities (good networking, working things out, communicating, create lots of ideas and be inspired a lot) as well as strong Earth element qualities (bring ideas to life, good decision-making, sensible ways of going about things).

What I am being shown lately and, on reflection, not for the first time that sometimes a long game is much better where a range of qualities get tested and clarified and there’s a satisfaction of achieving something at the end of it having gone through a process rather than a single action. This longer process is still manifesting yet being in life at the same time, being present with each step weaving magic carefully with evaluating every step rather than experiencing it so quick it can feel almost unwanted at the end. This puzzled me a couple of times before and the more recent events, which included super-fast manifesting, made me stop and reflect. When what seemed like ‘a dream come true’ action occurred very quickly I was thrown into the sea of emotions and not the ones I would have expected to feel. I felt tangled up, very unclear in my mind with a lot of shadow material of the old original coming forward in me. I couldn’t understand it. This felt like something that did happen before and it made me think about manifesting quick.

We are such animals, I think, that need to have things settled within us. Part of the problem today is that we rush and we don’t stop to hear ourselves, listen to our hearts and slowdown in life, therefore nothing has time to settle in its planning stages and subsequently post- manifestation. I believe we need to pause and often with ourselves to check, to feel, to revise, to ask lots of questions and be in our bodies fully. I failed to do all of the above this time round, which then activated events, e.g. accidents and illness, having to do things I didn’t want, almost on the back of that ‘awesome’ manifestation that happened.

Quick magic and modern life, perhaps, is a way of bypassing the moment of quiet slowing down and settling in the heart. May be they don’t mix well when done impulsively and with what can be described too much Fire energy. Perhaps, manifestation spells and work should be more aligned with Water and Earth qualities within.

This is such a good lesson for me and I hope some of you might relate to this and continue to observe your own magic in this world and learn to navigate it with more awareness, softness and patience. I do have patience, but it seems to present often in a direct competition with my driven, impulsive nature. I need to learn to balance.

I recommend this book on the subject of weaving magic in the modern world.

Journeying with the Triple Goddess

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This month of January 2017 I am in need of reminding myself of the magic that runs through my veins. I am called to look deep within to revive my own potential, strength and power. I also need to release tension, doubt, anxiety and sadness that accumulated within. I need to journey into a place of spirit, my beloved land, for the need of restorative medicine and wisdom.

I have been called a lot this month to be present for others, to take care of the external things and people, which left me starved for inner peace, reflection and care taking of my soul. I am in need of a ritual, tears, focus and attending to my soul’s needs.

This morning I feel like hybenating, wrapping myself up warm and cosy in luxurious thick blanket, cover my head with a purple scarf and snuggling up with a coffee in front of my altar. This feels so needed and timely. I am looking after myself in a way I haven’t been able to lately. Solitude is something I crave. I often reach that point when there is no other path to take or choice to make other than sitting in complete silence with myself, rocking myself into comfort and steering back to the road where I get in touch with spirit.

I put on some music and began my journey in front of my altar, which felt like the most beautiful thing to me right now. It is for sure one of my favourite altars over the years. I can’t wait for Imbolc to come, which is exactly a week today and I feel like bathing in scents and textures of white flowers. It feels delicious and completely needed for me today.

Maiden: wearing thin white tunic, barefoot with her long hair dropping loosely on her shoulders she walks very softly upon the shore of a lake. I recognise the place. She sways her hands in a gentle dance and flowers drop from her fingers. She raises her arms in the air and flowers shoot out from under the ground opening up towards the new. There is innocence, purity, beauty and translucency of spirit that surrounds her. She is the element of water and air. She begins to fly over the lake continuing to scatter flowers on the water. I cry and cry. It is a beautiful sight and a powerful release for me. I missed her.

Mother: in a pine forest where trees reach high up into the sky she walks confidently looking up and around her. She wears a green dress and green lacy short boots. There is light and confidence about her. She has earthly energy, very pentacle type of energy of manifestation and being firmly in the world. She walks along the pine forest tidying things up here and there, picking up branches and touching trees. She arrives to a point where a view opens up in front of her. I recognise this place. The sun is bright and warming, she smiles. There is a beautiful lake down below and forests stretching as far as the eye can see. She takes a deep breath and sits down on a tree stump. Animals gather around her legs, badgers, squirrels and an owl lands on her lap. She strokes her very soft feathery body and all is content in the world.

Crone: she is sitting on a rock looking out to the sea. I recognise these rocks. Wearing long white cloak, which matches her white hair she holds her walking wand firmly as a strong support for her frail body. She is knowing, content and at peace. There is nothing that she hadn’t seen or done before. She is older than anything or anyone in this universe. She walks towards a pool of water coming off the rocks and whispers her spells and chants into the water taking out herbs from her pockets and throwing them in. She is forever magical and working for the good of the Earth. The she walks into a cave, sits down with black crows surrounding her. Her inner comfort and peace is electric and striking. She begins to pull fire with upwards motion of her hands from under the earth. With ease she brings it into reality and the air fills with warmth. She sits in deep reflection watching the flames humming to herself.

Music for the journey:

There are three pieces of music, which follow for each Goddess starting at 1:04:33 point at 11:34

When familiar is no longer working 

 When familiar no longer works you are ready for the next step, upgrade, adjustment.

I had an experience this month where I was left suspended in a vibration, which felt uncomfortable and unsolvable. No tools I have accumulated over the years could successfully be applied to that situation. I fought against it, resisted, projected my frustration onto external and that is normal human reaction when we are up against something that is problematic yet feels like it can’t be fixed. I understood my reaction well to that state as a natural push against something that I felt needed to be fixed or changed. Also to mention that surrender to a situation or a feeling state (one of my tools) also didn’t work.

In terms of elements, which I often use as a model when working with situations and parts of myself I couldn’t describe for the first time which element I was manifesting in my reality. That was the thing that really struck me as the elements always work for me in a simple way to help me understand what is distorted, what I am lacking and what needs to be introduced into the mix. Nah, not this time. There was suspension of all possible ways I have gotten to know to work for me so far in my life. I should also mention that my ‘magic’ seemed to have gone to sleep. There was access to that either.

I became curious about,firstly , what it was about that didn’t allow my known methods to work. It felt like there was an opening for something new to come in. I was meant to learn a new way, take a different step towards resolution and wholeness within myself. I was ready to engage with material completely new and it felt like there would be risks involved, super sharp mindful awareness in every moment and not abandoning myself under no circumstance, which simply only delays the process of learning and integration.

At this moment in time all I have is an awareness of the above having taken place. I am curious to what this will lead to. It feels like I am working through something on my way of becoming something new. Nothing is new within us, of course, there can only be something that we forgot or rejected perhaps. What’s coming up is more shadow work, I feel and whenever that happens I feel excited. Why? Because shadow work always leads to liberation, unleashing of what has been hidden yet can be used in a valuable way. It’s like fining a black box and feeling the excitement of opening it and not knowing what one would find yet it feels like home, you, a gift. And the work is to work out what that is.

I now remember feeling this way back in summer 2016 when all tools were taken away and I was forced to look at my physical reality manifestations. It forced me to get engaged with myself on a serious level, really look at myself in the mirror as the only thing available. I felt I didn’t quite get it that time and therefore, missed an opportunity to upgrade. Now I am being given the second chance and I am ready!

Always question how you feel, observe how you behave and what your thinking is like. Be with yourself always and whenever something doesn’t feel right stop and explore it’s meaning. It’s not that we are doing something wrong it’s about  becoming something new. Something is always growing within of us to be known.

Blessings!

Ignite your Fire 

The current emotional state I find myself in is anything but Firy. It is the Water element that has taken hold in its distorted state manifesting in moodiness, lack of motivation and inability to settle. This is how depressive state begins when focus is almost impossible and apathy sets in. There is no drive, energy or enthusiasm. Fire sparks up now and again, but again in its distorted state in ways of angry outbursts and frustration, dissatisfaction, which is often projected onto the world, weather, other people. Not great way to be and I don’t like it one bit.

Things in the house are literary losing their ‘spark’ and breaking down, particularly electrical things like iron, microwave, heating and boiler. One thing after another. It feels deflating and cold. What is there to do, I ask? The Goddess reassures me she’s around for guidance yet I move away from her unable to listen. My body is devoid of heat and energy and I wonder aimlessly about my days.

Outside it’s raining and mild when it should be winter. I never thought I would feel lethargic for the absence of real winter yet it is snow and cold that I crave so I can settle properly into the season. Instead it’s raining and I find myself yearning for the snowy mountains and freezing winds, sparkling cover on the ground and winter Sun. I try to fly away to lands where winter is present but again unable to project myself very far. Stifling…

Today I decided to drive to the woods away from home to seek some peace and answers. It is raining but I don’t mind as feel the need to be with whatever it is that slows me down. I get out of the car and walk into the forest. It feels pleasing straight away, the smell of wet ground and fresh air surrounds me. In silence I stand and turn to my right to a sight of deer very close by. My spirit is sparked for that moment where we stand and look at each other. I smile and feel gratitude. Things get better as I walk deeper into the forest. I discover Fire in the palm of my right hand, which I hold open and the rain stops. It’s amusing to play with it putting my hand away and taking it out again to show to the forest. I ask for the rain to stop and it does. My hand does the magic. I feel my spirits lifting slightly yet the fire in my hand also slips away eventually. It is calm, no rain and again I see the deer in the bush next to me. I smile. I feel better.

What also comes to me is the fact that I have been focusing on the Water element too much making an error in understanding what’s needed. At first a couple of weeks ago when I became aware of the absence of fire I welcomed water into my days and solidified and intensified my focus on it. I placed water items on my altar and what occurred was the opposite, I went too much into it. I understand it now. Now I know I need to shift things towards the fire intentionally. I need to work on it and make it spark again so changing my altar set up once again to see things shift.

Magic is a work of awareness, attention, focus and really listening. It is also not always about accuracy of messages but an ability to shift with changes in awareness. It is about adapting to what gets presented and reading the messages that one sees, hears or feels.

It is a strange period of time, however I remain open to observations and changes that might come in the next few days. I hope. Staying with myself no matter what and however hard it might be.

Many blessings!