Transpersonal Integrative psychotherapist and Intuitive witch

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What are the similarities between two parts within me, which are at play simultaneously. These two occupations, let’s call it that, have a lot more in common than one might think. I have experienced again and again the alignment between the two and it makes complete sense and feels whole.

At the centre of my work is intuition. It is my guiding, navigational, feeling system that allows me to relate and understand the other on a deeper level. Energies go through me and reflect back to whoever is sitting with me whatever I might be working with and it is that ‘going through me’ technique allows me to know what the other might need and benefit from.

Intuition is also used in ‘magical’ workings and 90% of my magic/spiritual work is intuitive, always has been from the very beginning as I stepped on the nature-based spiritual path. It is an exciting journey and I never once doubted what I do or did was somewhat ‘incorrect’, if I can call it that. There is not often right or wrong there is only better or poorer adjustments of what’s available. Some work can be intense and alignment is stronger and in other cases it is less so and effects are subtler. Intuition is something to be trusted and be open to and I am completely and utterly in its power knowing it will lead me where I need to go. It offers a well of possibilities of your own self-knowledge. All the treasure is already within us and one way to access that treasure is through intuition and listening to your inner voice of wisdom.

As an Integrative transpersonal psychotherapist I use myself and my intuition to decide and most of the time know what’s needed, when, how and for who. I pick techniques, approaches and a line to follow from my collection of tools, knowledge and experience through listening to the other’s story and working cognitively, emotionally, spiritually, using my body and being aware of the energy. I use my whole self to inform me of a direction and certain needs of a client. It is deeply relational, on a soul level, one might say, when myself and the other operate as one, as two humans on a journey of discovery. I work as a guide, support system, safe space and a container for the other while they go through a process of transformation. There is no judgement and we embrace an open heart, unconditional love and acceptance.

Magic is involved in psychotherapeutic work. There are often moments of connection and insight in a therapy room, which feel truly magical. Many of my colleagues would agree. It is the same in my work with the elements and nature, talking to trees, creating rituals and spells, working with deities. Magic in both contexts mean moments of divine connection when forces align and energies peak/flow in a certain way  that manifestation/transformation is possible. Results occur as a consequence of a way of working that is deeply spiritual and earthly at the same time. It is rooted in love and relating through the heart.

I am truly appreciative of how parts of myself align into one purpose whether I am being a therapist or a nature adventurer, ritual creator or a spiritual guide. It feels incredibly rich and immensely fulfilling. I can find magic all around me and I look forward to continuing my work with intuition as my guiding force and constant companion.

treasures within

Understanding sacrifice 

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I have rejected the idea of self-sacrifice especially after my being got fragmented post stepping into motherhood, which now is clear only came from a point of not fully understanding its meaning and purpose. It always felt like ‘what about me’? The position of a wounded part within, which always felt unseen and unheard, the part, which felt her needs were ignored and not met. Limited perspective.

It has recently grown into a wider understanding through looking at my mother’s life. I find it’s always valuable to look outwards for examples of self-sacrifice and what that shows and teaches us. There’s one crucial key to self-sacrifice and that is a firm personal choice and from there what follows is meaning making. They go together to be more precise.
On the surface it looks like she completely sacrificed her life for her husband and kids. It often begged a question ‘but what about her’. I am sure she asked that enough times herself in moments of despair and uncertainty, however, she always remained firm in her choice to self-sacrifice. We might ask why? And the answer is for the greater good, for better outcome all around, for happiness on a wider scale, which she could contribute to. It is her contribution to the wider good and her choice in sacrificing if necessary that carried her through life and, guess what, she remained happy throughout. It is from seeing others happy and content she drew her own happiness and contentment. That always remained her personal choice and one might even say her life purpose.

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New year new altar 


Today I am clearing spaces, putting things away and changing things round in every room. I love this ritual of renewal and when better than in January.

I have been waiting for this energy with anticipation and excitement after a densely packed and quite unpleasant and suffocating month of December. I have become aware there is a pattern of a certain vibration that shows up every year towards the end of the year. More to learn, unpack and transform. Great learning.

My lovely Yule altar, which I wanted to be simple and effective this year with colours of red and white, served well during dark times. I love Yule. Now it’s time for a change. I am ready. Everything that’s been is now gone and it feels good. There’s only today and a possibility of tomorrow.

January is an active, inspirational and creative time for me usually. I enjoy it usually and throw myself into work, projects being very focused, motivated and organised. This, I feel, is present again this year, but along with the ‘doing’ I am also including the ‘being’ vibration. Peaceful and soothing, soft and gentle, restful and meditative. Therefore for this time in-between now and Imbolc on the 2nd February my altar goes to my sort of ‘default’ presentation of peace and tranquility, Buddha like space which I love so very much. Colours are purple and white and the feeling is love, light and peace. 

My intention is to go out there and grab life and do lots of exciting things, create beautiful musings and engage in writing and learning as much as I can, but also give myself space and time to be still, present, focused within and at peace with myself and the world.
Blessings!

The Land’s calling

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It is the time of my soul’s bleeding with deep connection to the land, which is calling again and again. It is such a powerful pull that it feels painful and pleasurable at the same time. It is a deep yearning within me that calls me to walk the land’s high hills and smell the soil of the old, moist, fresh wind-swept landscape my soul craves. My heart begins to ache in the feeling of missing my other home, the place that doesn’t let go off me when I am not around. It calls, it sings to me and my bones feel its essence. I miss it so much. I want to see stags gallantly walking the forests and hills and standing still staring, undecided whether to run or continue with their curiosity. They are such beautiful creatures, strong yet vulnerable. I yearn to see them in the land’s autumn dress with trees and grass changing colour and air slowly turning cool with a promise of winter. I wish I could stand at the top of a mountain screaming with delight for I am there, I am alive and the land around me embraces me in its vastness.

Every year it seems I bear the separation with hardly breathing and unable to hold my excitement when I am finally released into the land of my soul. I cry, I ache and spend long hours imagining, smelling, walking the hills and forests in my dreams. At times it is unbearable and I cry uncontrollably and I feel like putting on my boots and running towards the land however far. It feels impulsive with no reason existing in that moment of deep wanting to merge with the landscape, immerse my face into a cold water of a Loch and drink the fresh air of pine forest. The wind, oh how I wish to be swept with it and my face blasted with its force waking me up to my core, shaking all the cobwebs out of my being.

Another year, another period of waiting with a heart that aches and loves oh so deep…

Crying your heart clean

This week I am in North Wales surrounded by earth, sky and sea. Everything is in perfect harmony in nature yet on the inside there’s a turmoil, which seems to continue this spring.

I adore the land and its useful teachings and I ask for peace in my heart. I have climbed rocks and mountains, sat by the sea and today I am going into the woods.

The deeper into the woods you go the deeper the unfolding process.

The energy of the moss is one of the most delicious sensations I have ever experienced. It is my point of merging with the earth when I touch the soft moist manifestation of the earth spirit. It is what I experience as the high vibration of soil intelligence. It feels calm, comforting and cooling.

Another sensation which is wonderful to my soul is cool pockets you find in the woods where air is very fresh and still and the whole body begins to vibrate. That feeling covers all senses in me when I become aware of the energy rising from the root up to the crown and I become one with spirit.


I went through the process which, if I wanted it, would have taken me deep into the darkness and out high into the light again. I went further than I did before today yet not completed. The overall message was again that through allowing dark emotions to be one can transcend it into a higher sensation of peace and joy. A relief or a release is always guaranteed. One always finds a way of feeling better even if it might not be clear what exactly happens. It can be subtle or profound. Interpretations can come in, symbols might come alive or it can just be a sensory and emotional experience of releasing whatever needs to go or be transformed. This is my experience in nature.

The first stop was a fallen tree, which laid across a forest waterfall. I sat on it reflecting on its symbolism in that moment. A bridge across emotions. I contemplated walking across the fallen tree and across the waterfall and in my mind I did sensing there’s achievement to be had in taking on challenging situations full of emotions. I sat still acknowledging the metaphor of the natural setting in front of me.

As I continued walking tears followed. I cried while hugging a tree, which was gently comforting me. A striking thing appeared after – that tree was missing its top, it was half dead, one might say, yet it felt very much alive and no more or less part of the whole. I would describe it as a disabled being with the spirit very much alive and its softness was deeply touching. It held on to me as I acknowledged its endurance.

Woods kept pulling me in deeper and deeper showing off its magnificent trails and labyrinth-like formations of emerald branches. The moss got thicker and greener under my feet. The path got narrower and the silence descended with pockets of spirit presence whether through a pure water running underneath branches or gentle white light amidst deep darkness.

I began to run and got tangled in the branches, stepped into mud, got wet and decided to stop. The pull was strong, but I made a decision to turn around. A possibility of what might have lied ahead scared me a bit and felt at that moment in time I was not ready to experience it. That’s ok. We are in charge of what we are ready to face and where to stop. I went further into the process today than I did previously. It reminds me of a therapeutic setting with a client, just like I am often a client with the woods as my therapist, when you take your client only as far as they can go, one step at a time, one experience at a time, one process at a time.

I came back lighter, feeling more energetic, in higher spirits and overall calmer.

Intuitive guidance ignored = Self-abandonment

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We hear about self-love more and more these days in a sense that one must give oneself love in order to be able to give out into the world. There is a strong dissonance of energy between giving and receiving in the world generally. Often we are good at giving, but terrible at receiving. Sounds familiar? We have bought into the idea of unquestionable self-sacrifice and understanding receiving as bad, selfish, now allowed, even shameful. What we do is simply abandon ourselves each and every time tricking ourselves into believing we are doing something right. We abandon our own internal system of guidance, which, if only we listened, would move us towards our highest self and our soul’s purpose. We listen to one internal voice, which stems from years of internalised belief that we are bad if we don’t give out fully and we are not good enough if we allow ourselves to receive. By listening to one voice, we ignore another, which is our intuitive guidance of the soul carrying messages of love and compassion. We rationalise why something makes us feel good, something that comes from inside, no, we don’t have time to stop and listen, we must go on with doing and giving and often making ourselves invisible and ill in the process.

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‘A heart in a cage’ dream

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My intentions for this year is to attempt the process of releasing pain that had taken residence within my energetic bodies for a very long time. I have carried it all with devotion and protection. No one ever could or would be allowed to come in.

Expansion into love, beauty, softness and courage is a path I would like to step on this year. Here comes a challenge of not doing everything by myself, not suffering in silence and allowing someone else to show me love and helping me heal. My therapist has a job on her hands that’s for sure.

Last year I managed to learn and embrace the concept of not allowing MORE pain to come in through saying ‘no’ and standing much stronger in my power. It has been very hard, but did pay off in huge ways and I have been able to see and feel the difference in not filling up that ‘pain’ cup, which is inside, with more pain, suffering and negative vibrations. I had been a receiver and a carrier of other people’s traumas and tragedies as much as having my own grief and pain to look after. I learnt to live with it so well to the point it has become the most familiar and safe place to be. I just get pain, I know it, I can carry and hold a lot of it.

My dream last night demonstrated perfectly what is happening within and it shows progress and forward movement in my process. It is so striking that this image should come in already with such clarity of presentation. Things are about to start moving already and it is good news. My heart is in a cage, however, compared with last year when I could not feel, see or find my heart at all, I woke up trembling with my heart beating with such force in my chest I had to lie and absorb that movement for quite a while. It was one of those bitter/sweet experiences, in between joy and sorrow. Last year my heart was frozen, dead even and no amount of healing, meditating, going within would move it. Think Snow Queen, think all archetypes of the wounded feminine, which was once soft, but had to become hard to survive. It was incredibly painful just to be aware of the fact that the heart within me was not alive to the point I could not connect to my body, to the vibration of love, or anything that is softer rather than harder. I know all of these vibrational signatures, I used my intellect to connect with the knowing of it, therefore, through a cognitive understanding I could still function within the emotional realm, yet that disconnection from the physical and emotional bodies had been ‘heart breaking’. To me heartbreak is not only when you feel your heart breaking into million of pieces and you feel the pain physically, but to me, the even harsher tragedy is when you feel nothing at all and unable to connect to what you know is there, yet it is unreachable.

This time, my heart is alive and bleeding in my dream even though it is still in a cage. There might be a piece of glass wedged in it just on the bottom. Last night I could clearly see and feel it. I cried tears of sorrow and joy at the same time, as at least, I felt, saw and experienced my heart again. In a dream it came in a cage. It is not liberated just yet, but at least it is alive. The sensation of it was similar to when you are about to scream and it is stuck in your throat or you see a hand putting a key towards a keyhole, yet you stop right before. It is like that. It is not yet coming out…

What came with the image is a message of how the process is likely to unfold. It will be done with love, softness, courage and seeing beauty in every single thing. It will be done through liberating it, not saving or rescuing. Through giving and receiving love that cage door will begin to open. I will have to be with the bleeding of my own heart for a while, but it is a bitter sweet sensation to me and I know this is necessary to connect with the flow of energy again and it is now accessible. Blood is a sign of life, rebirth and I can feel the new current of life radiating through me. Within that bleeding heart there is love, there is beauty, there is courage and strength.

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Heart in a Cage by MichaelFurre

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