The land is calling yet again…

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The land is calling, but this time the call comes from a specific place. It is heard from the Isle of Skye. My soul is picking up on the spaciousness of the land, strong wind bound in its roar crashing against the rocks watching over rough waters. The voice is beautiful, it is mixture of a whistle, whining and deep bass notes. It has a voice or rather vibration boom boom like a beating heart that reaches my awareness and pulls at my soul’s veil asking to join it in its half melody, half drumming. It is intoxicating.

It is soothing to me to know it is there, it exists and its heart is beating in unison with my own. Loving from a distance is familiar to me. Being separated by space, but nothing else is also known. I have loved from a distance many times over, with all my being, bones, cells, toes, hairs on my arms and senses. The love so big I was breathing for one reason only to keep it alive. That’s where grief also comes in when a love so strong continues to live within me after many years of eternal separation. I feel this is what I experience whenever I am away from the land. Love and deep sorrow of separation are in embrace. Time there though there is a knowing that I can answer the call and I can merge with the land, as it is there, calling, wailing in its windy voice and splashing waves onto my naked feet. I can smell heather, it is warm to the touch. It get tangled in my hair as I lay my head against the moisture of the earth. It is easy for me to become each and everything that land is – rocks, mountains, grass, animals, clouds, the sun and the moon. Words are simply not enough to describe the connection in the soul. It just is so…

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My first experience on the island POST 

Sacred Land Trinity 

Scottish Highlands

Snowdonia, Wales

Connemara, Ireland

I worked with a bereaved client at the beginning of my psychotherapy training called Margaret. She was 83 years old and what a force of nature she was. Such passion for life, such grit, commitment, devotion, determination and inner strength like I rarely have come across in life, perhaps, only of my own mother. She was Irish. I loved her stories of growing up on a family farm in harsh conditions and amidst complicated family dynamics, but a place so beautiful that whenever she spoke of it I heard a song full of beautiful lyrics and melody of her voice changing into a sweet poetry with each breath. Our relationship was pure enchantment.

Ireland, I seemed to love the place without knowing why or how, I felt I knew it on some level. I married an Irishman first time round. I found the accent musically pleasing and lulling to my senses. Margaret spoke of returning to the land at the age of 83 after the death of her husband. Connemara. Perhaps she’s there now.

Years later I find that particular place is calling to me. Ireland. Through very subtle feelings, round about connections and encounters and things I have read it is as if I am weaving a plan, a map that will eventually take me there. I remain in wonder and curiosity with a sense of peace of getting to know that land one day.

Perhaps it is the completion of the sacred Land trinity for me, the first two being Scottish Highlands and Snowdonia, Wales. Perhaps I am on a journey of rediscovering some Celtic heritage of the British Isles, the path of Druidry that yes, lives in my DNA.

What a joyous journey I often stop to reflect, the one with soul at the centre of it all and spirit that is held in the land, in nature.

Be careful what you wish for…

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‘Be careful what you wish for’ surprises us, but also when we attach to an expectation we get bitterly disappointed. Expectations carry a trickster vibration, which leads us astray and to places we don’t expect to visit, which often results in pain and bitterness. Trickster is a teacher, but the way it presents its lessons is unconventional. We often dismiss it stoically or escape from it in pain rather than looking at it with open eyes and being prepared to listen, however confusing messages might seem. What I learnt was not to give into the vibration of being tricked into something, but stay with the core lesson hidden behind the energy that feels malicious.

As we turned off the main road from Inverness and onto the country winding lanes, scenery changed and surroundings took my breath away. Its stillness, green lush tapestry with sparkling dark grey rivers sounding beneath and deer wondering amongst bushes – it seemed like a heavenly oasis undisturbed by worldly worries. Peaceful, flowing vibration of the way things should be enveloped my every sense. In that moment I forgot everything and everyone, events that happened an hour ago, words spoken to another, it all became a blank screen on the other side of my awareness. For that moment I was in another world.

Deer is my primary spirit animal and to be able to see it so close to me, in great numbers with huge stags snorting loudly and staring intently in my direction, I could hardly breathe and the smile on my face fixed the joy within my heart. I spent a peaceful week in the Northern Scotland with Highlands watching over me from outside the window and it was not at all what I expected. My expectations turned into a magical experience when I invisaged a fairly uneventful, empty space.

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During my stay near the Land’s End of the Northern coast of Scotland I connected with the Water element the most. The sea produces no feelings in me usually and I have a strong preference for rivers and lakes, however, this time experience opened up possiblities for me to line up with the sea and its vibration. The way I can describe its signature is reassuring, strong, in motion and depth. I weaved my magic on the shore and received messages highly informative and directional for my forward journey.

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The second week, however, I planned and waited for intensely for nearly a year and after the endless speciousness of mountains and the wind gently singing in my hair cooling my spirit and letting it spread my inner wings, I found myself unaffected by my surroundings. Seemingly it was all that I wished for – a remote cabin surrounded by woods, yet, I felt nothing. This produced such sorrow within me, as I find there is nothing worse than no feeling of any kind. They do say indifference feels more painful than hate. Since I arrived I found no peace, rest or consolation in the place and waited for it to end. I felt enclosed finding it difficult to breathe, yes, amongst the trees, my spirit was dormant and I was pushed into the ‘ground’ without being able to spread my wings. I recognised the primary trauma of mine in that vibration – the trauma of entrapment. Again, this was the last place on Earth I would have expected to experience this in.

On reflection I found my experience with expectations and attachments fascinating and what I have learnt is ‘be careful what you wish for’ in its good and bad sense, both. Be careful how and to what one attaches. The land has no intention to make you feel in one way or another. Again it was confirmed for me. It is only me and you, who can vibe with one place or another and immerse into the vibration one aligns with. Finding that oasis on the outside, as well as, within is a process, a journey into the unknown, unpleasant or blissful and full of joy. In any case it feels like an adventure, which leads to discoveries of the soul and I am so grateful for it.

 

Transitioning into the ‘homeland’

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Do you notice or aware of things, places and people that feel like home? I think ‘home’ is such a unique signature that aligns fully with what the universe and spirit wishes for us to go back to, find our way to. It is delicious, comfortable, beautiful, cosy, warm and very light in its essence. It is pure content within and without. Many would resonate, I am sure, with that feeling of arriving, finally fitting into a paradigm that your soul came from and wants to reunite with.

For many people it is different things. Cities, big and small, market towns, countryside wild and wonderful, village life and close community, jungle, tropics, cold winters and high mountains, lakes and lush forests, open spaces, desserts and very hot temperatures. So, what is one to do when one is called to join the land, to merge with the signature they recognise as ‘home’? This process, I found, for myself reminds and often coincides with a spiritual awakening when something suddenly happens and even though you are thrown into a space of uncertainty and fear, you also know that you must go, you must take that jump into the unknown, as there is no other way. Often this comes uninvited and unexpected and can throw things up in the air for you to consider asking you for sacrifices and compromises that you were not prepared for. What is one to do? If you resist that call, will you regret it, will you always look back on it as an opportunity lost?

Feelings is what is important to observe here again, our best compass, navigational system, which informs us where we are and where we want to be. Feelings will answer many questions.

I find myself in a position where I know where I am meant to be, but I am not able to be there, not full-time anyway and not just yet, but what I find more and more is my heart-ache for the land is becoming more intense and more unbearable with tears coming in instantly when I think about not being there. This is exactly the same feeling when I get in touch with my 5th dimensional self. I first encountered and was shown myself in that level of consciousness about a year ago and it is the most incredible feeling I have been unable to describe. I am finding a way to be with the feeling having faith that one day I will merge into the land with all circumstances aligning for me to be able to do that.

Qualities of the Earth element is needed during the period of this sharp awareness and inability to complete the transition at this point. Patience, focus, doing things, which will facilitate the move. Water element is crucial, as it holds the vibration of all of our feelings in the moment. We are required to feel our way through any period of transition or merging. It is there to cleanse and purify our blocks and wounds that might be holding us back. Through tears we release tension and allow the flow to take us places of comfort and knowing. Air element is full of ideas and plans and a creative force of all the possibilities that might lie ahead. It is an exciting element that is great at making connections from within with our external reality. Fire is truly transformative, as it will ask action and decision-making of us with enthusiasm and passion.

Life is a wonder and we are all walking towards the merging with the spirit be it moving to a land that calls you and holds gifts for the development or taking up an occupation, which serves your life purpose or both. Whatever we are meant to be and wherever we are meant to end up is pre-destined, I believe, and the spirit will guide us through our paths towards what is needed for our ultimate transformation.

It is worth stopping for a minute and ask whether moments of craving for something or somewhere are present within you. This process really asks for us to be with ourselves on every level and explore every emotion we feel. If someone pulls you in or a place that is constantly on your mind never leaves your senses it is worth investigating further. What is its purpose? How does it feel? Are you able to ignore it and move on easily or is it something that keeps coming back? If you know, you will know and if you are unable to move into that any time soon, keep it in your heart and your awareness as a precious gift of love from the universe.

Be alert, wonder, observant and ready to be hit by something wonderful such as a sign that your land is waiting for you and your soul is in need to serve, to be free and to fly in joy towards the higher purpose.

Snowdonia, Wales land experience

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The land of Snowdonia is full of energies of sleeping dragons, ancient battles and pastoral living. Mossy rocks, expansive giant mountains, endless greenish brown marsh land with specks of black rocks scattered amongst the wild landscape. It is not Scotland, it’s very different. In fact Scotland is all I could think of on the way here, but that’s another story. Read More