Present moment surrender

present moment

Trusting the universe, all in good time, hard work and patience pay off. We all heard these sayings, but how good are we with a state of surrendering to the present moment really?

I have experienced this year in particular ‘a run away’ with my thoughts and emotions, that often threw me into a state of panic and anxiety and pulled me right out of the present moment. It is so very felt when I am not in the present moment these days. I feel like not just I am not living, but almost I am not breathing, loving, experiencing or feeling. The awareness in me is strong, however, thoughts are also powerful at times and push me into a turmoil of ‘what if’ rather than ‘what is’. I believe being with what is and really grounding in the present moment is one of the most important lessons again for this year. What is happening is that our awareness is becoming sharper and we are shown what we are potentially missing out on if we avoid, resist to what is currently happening to us and wanting to fast forward. It is also more difficult to do this year than before. That contrast in sharp awareness and increased difficulty in holding that present moment vibration is necessary. Things are highlighted so we really see what we need to see and also go beyond just seeing and understanding, but really feeling it with every sense. For example, my body is sharply aware of continual stress I am putting on it in the last two months, so I am physically feeling not great and problems manifest more and more yet I find it difficult to stop. When on holiday I was hit with sadness and grief when I realised I was not being with what was surrounding me and enjoying it, so my emotions were heightened as a result and as a way to show me that what I was being or doing didn’t serve what I could potentially experience if only I let go off resistance.

Today I am making a conscious decision to stop the run around, purposefully slow down, not to rush and allow the universe bring what is meant for me. I am putting my focus into surrendering, as it is so needed right now. One way of doing that, I feel intuitively, is creating a beautiful space around myself and sit in its energy for a while. Elements that ground me today and help me focus on what I am feeling in the body are soothing Celtic music, burning eucalyptus oil, which allows my airways to open up and take some deep breaths, as well as textures that I can explore with various crystals. When one is in touch with visual, smell, touch and auditory senses, I find it is beneficial to experiencing what is in the moment. We can also use words that we say out loud, a prayer, a poem or even a song, so we connect to the vibration of our own voice and really listen.

Blessings!

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Shedding with the season 

 As I pull out remaining weeds and dried out reminder of flowers and vegetables once blooming on my allotment I reflect on the play between holding on and letting go.

Weeds are still green with roots deep in the soil resist my pull and I find pleasure in clearing space for the next year’s growth.

I am brutal with weeds, but over the last few years I became more mindful and reflective on the process of wanting to stay and needing to go. 

It explains why I love autumn and winter even more. My thinking becomes clearer. My goals become crystallised and the path in front of me stretches ahead. In summer when woods are overgrown and taken over by brambles and ferns I feel confused. I feel enclosed and my thinking and creativity are not sharp. In the second part of the year I can breathe once again and start the process of deciding what to keep and what to let go off. The emptiness is inviting and exciting to me.

I sweep, clean and dust ‘the old’ and create space within and around me for the season of reflection and new beginnings. 

What are you holding on to at this point? What are you not wanting to let go off?