Space vs enclosure

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The debate started within me after my last visit to Scotland when one week I spent in the North with vast open spaces, wilderness mountains and the sea and the other week was spent in a tiny cottage in the woods. You can read about my experiences HERE. 
What I thought I preferred turned out to be something else and I was asked to consider other ways and it was a challenge.
Recently after spending a whole day in the woods and ‘overdosing’ on nature but not in a good way I was reminded of my experience in Scotland. It made me think further about spaces, my preferences and how things are changing for me as I continue on my healing and spiritual journey.

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My sacred woodland

Across the road from my house there lies a woodland. It is a short pleasant walk into what is a sacred place to me. At first sight it might seem like nothing particularly special, big or of any significance, yet to me it means everything. It is a sacred crucible, which has been holding my pain and joy, ecstasy and turmoil and provided a solid presence and acceptance for many years now.

The way I would describe it in a way of imagery is a circle of greenery, it is a round shape, not too big, positioned slightly more to the left off the path although it stretches to the right too with a path running all the way round it and across it. It inhibits the lives of many oaks, holly trees, silver birches and smooth-skinned beeches. There are many hidden groves within the woodland where one cannot be seen from any of the paths and it feels like one is in a safe hold of the forest floor, trees above and plants all around. I often feel hugged by my guardian trees and most of them I can climb in between, as they stand in clusters. There is a brook running through the middle, small, narrow, but very alive with vibrancy of the crystal clear water.

In spring the woods change its flooring to vibrant purple of bluebells and the smell stretches all senses in a delicious dance of delirium. The joy is indescribable and it takes my breath away every time. In summer it is near to impossible to go off the path due to overgrowth of ferns and brambles and the air is so still I can hear my heart beat. I hold my breath in surrender to the cooling shelter that it provides amidst the heat of summer days.

In autumn it is very pleasant and paths yet again begin to open up for accessing all the hidden little groves, beginning to invite us slowly into the heart of the woods and our inner worlds. Here I cocoon myself for an hour or so doing magic or simply lying on the floor merging with the earth. There is a notable chill in the air, but so refreshing and, of course, the golden attire of trees never fails to get me to the floor kneeling before its majesty. In winter it is bare in all its glory and I can see the most intricate silhouettes of trees entwining their branches and huddling together against the wind. Stunning in their nakedness they stand strong in their vulnerability.

This woodland has been in my heart for many years and witnessed my process intimately holding all my secret heart desires and painful experiences. I never once left this place without a resolution, an answer or a transformation of some kind. It works every time. It is my trusted teacher, friend, guardian, counsellor, mother/father, the divine. It is something I can’t imagine my life without and its vibration has been aligning with my own for many moons whether it was performing my nature spells, meditating, talking to trees or spending time in close embrace with the earth smelling and feeling the glory of its body and soul. It might be a simple woodland, yet to me it is sacred and precious.

I now intend to take other people on soul quests through this wonderful place where I hope they, like myself, will find resolution, understanding, healing and transformation. I offer OUTDOOR therapy for clients in the UK, Uxbridge area.

Lessons in the ‘neutral’

peaceful communication

Having difficulty in communicating? Coming up against conflicts?

Take up a neutral position. You might know it all, but you might know nothing at all. It is polar opposites that cause problems and when you notice you have taken either one or the other position you can bring your attention to the mid-point. What if you are about to know everything and know nothing all at the same time?

Communication changes when instead of engaging in an argument you pause and observe what your body is doing. Is it pushing and pulling? Does it feel uncomfortable? Stay with that without going either way and allow for energies to settle. Actively listen to the other, observe their struggle in that moment. Energies travel from one to the other in the moment when one is still the other will also begin to slow down. Watch it in action the next time something prickly arises between you and someone else. What is the outcome? Disengagement from ‘being right’ and ‘knowing it all’ will empower the other to slow their vibration and energies settle for both. It is not disempowering you it is bringing the focus on what is grinding in the moment. Speak if you must, but use softer language, pause, let the other speak, engage with a smile, a nod, ask for a moment to speak. Engage in exchange of equals where both come from a position of their perception. Let your attachment to outcomes go, actively listen and participate rather than dictate. See if communication improves and both engage in the flow from the beginning, middle and end. Let it become an exploration rather than a perceived outcome.
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Ode to the Land 

 
In my dreams you visit me like a deep soulful cry from within

You touch my senses as I sit in solitude in the forest

Water takes me straight to the expansive lochs of your bosom
You contain and penetrate the essence of me

I weep, I run, I stop, I listen to the call that links my soul to thee

My breathing holds its flow as I hear your name and suddenly I am transformed into the old Cailleagh walking the hills and mountains with deer by my side
The smell of pit, bog, pine and vibrant heather feels like blood in my veins, warm and homely

The air in you is essential to my survival

My feet are deeply rooted in your landscape and my heart beats with every changing season. I wish to walk it till the end of time, till it’s my time to have my bones scattered amidst your beauty

Scattered self and working with the Horned God

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Do you sometimes feel like you are fragmented into little pieces, which split off from your centre and you find yourself unbalanced in all areas of your life – relationships, finances, health. Fun also seems to be missing during this time and any attempt to bring your vibration up proves difficult. The centre is weakened, which often brings feelings of doom and gloom. This seems to occur out of nowhere and can spread very quickly with fragmented pieces flying further and further away and the further away they are from the centre the more likely they can get affected and pulled into negative energies. They are effectively not safe when too far away from the centre. Awareness is needed in such cases, otherwise it can get out of control to a point of having something drastic happen to bring your attention to the disintegration that is present.

During this time I am going through this process, which, some people would refer to ‘being cursed’ even. Although I can relate and see that perspective and it is entirely possible, it certainly feels that way, I go with the understanding that at some point my centre had been weakened and that caused for pieces of myself to split off into areas where it was not safe and getting back to the centre became difficult. Once we bring our awareness and intuition to the fact that something is actually happening, e.g. things are occurring out of the ordinary, sudden unfavourable changes, feeling disempowered and emotionally low, we can begin the process of putting ourselves back together again.

There are various spells an individual can do to wash off negativity and bring missing pieces together and heal those back into the centre, as many, I would imagine, be quite damaged or affected by maleficent outside influences while away from the centre. I would encourage you to create your own ritual, spell, healing technique, which resonates with you. Some of the materials I can suggest one might use are:

Sage, Rosemary and Lavender herbs. Black candles burnt over 7 days during waning moon. Fire and Water spells created intuitively using oils, herbs and candles. Salt is another powerful ingredient.

While sitting in meditation in front of my altar this morning, as I was drawn to do, I asked for assistance from the Crone and the Horned God in matters to do with the above. What transpired and actually made me feel better was that it is the masculine side in particular that got affected in me, which originally had occurred in spring this year and been lingering. I hurt my finger yesterday and had a lucky escape, to be honest, as it could have been much worse. It is on my right hand and while meditating my attention was sent to my right side (masculine), which then made the Horned God come forward with his guidance. I haven’t worked with this deity before. Perhaps, there was no such need previously. It felt so good to me, as he put his steady hand around my shoulder and told me to zoom on one important thing in my life. I zoomed into my centre, which looked like a cave between my breasts, from which a radiant light was shining. The light was reddish colour, very comforting and masculine. The horned God told me to learn a skill, focus on one thing and learn it well and that energy of consolidation and focus would bring all the missing pieces back together again. It can also get rid of ‘unwanted’ fragments in the process, i.e. this is a process of sorting through what is needed and what needs to go.  I found this very interesting in relation to what I talk about above and this felt like another way of going about things of putting myself back together again. Very powerful.

So, I am going on a journey with the Horned God for the next 7 days, i.e. sitting in the sacred space listening to guidance and directions towards integration into a new, healthy form and bringing balance again in all areas.

Blessings!

image citation: www.spells-witchcraft.org

Beltaine 2016 

  
My intention for this Beltaine is to redefine and reconfirm relationships to myself and to those closest to me. I recommend journaling, as I did this morning already, on what currently works and doesn’t, what needs are met and not, what is to be done and how you intend to go about it. Setting intentions during this season of relationships and intimacy is very important. As the trees continue to bloom in their lushness and fragrant amour let your connections grow stronger and more fulfilling than ever. Enjoy the feeling of belonging to yourself first and foremost and extending that love outwards, which ultimately leads to fruitful life all around.

Blessed Beltaine!