Body knows…

sadness in spring

What is it with spring and physical health problems for me?

They say body knows, holds and experiences. It knows it all. Well, I agree that most of what’s going on is a trigger of one or another emotional issue in me and even though this year I am consciously redefining and healing my spring-related emotional wounds my body still remembers and it aches in the physical.

Spring has always been an intense and challenging season for me, particularly towards the end of spring, around Beltaine. I do wish it was summer, but then, of course, I remind myself how summer triggers me into other emotional areas. It is profound and insightful and never fails to leave me in wonder and curiosity how seasons connect me to my life, emotions, thoughts and my past.

Read More

Advertisements

Spring, Gold, Transformation

alchemy of transformation

It has been all about the Gold lately, which signifies a special phase of another transformational cycle we are entering into. It can manifest as a new job, a relocation, a completion of a project or a union of some kind. These are fairly general and it can be looked at deeper depending on your personal experience.

Gold is associated with treasure, potential, the energy of the Sun, a harvest of some sort and most importantly the final stage of transformation and coming into your own and shining to its full potential. Perhaps, some or all of these might relate to where you are currently on your journey.

For me gold came in a dream first when I was offered a chalice filled with golden liquid. I drank it and experienced feelings of ecstasy, freedom and serenity like no other. It was a very warming and pleasant sensation in the body and my mind was enveloped in thoughts of contentment, containment and comfort in the present moment.

I feel the season of spring, for me this year, is presentation differently and transforming into something entirely new. This was my intention for this work to occur, as through the years I had noticed a certain pattern, which would play out year after year, so when I paid conscious attention to it and unpicked it apart with the intention to heal I made a decision to work on transforming it with the next year. That time is now. I am already experiencing this season differently. Firstly I have welcomed spring with an open heart this year and I anticipated its arrival more eagerly than ever before. Previous spring had been a sad time for me, a paradox and a split, which presented as a wonderful season on the outside, yet my internal world would be in turmoil. A dissonance was always present.

Only last night standing outside I was acutely aware of just how pleased I am to see the spring this year and this time it wasn’t just words, thoughts. It was a strong felt sense in my body. I feel in love with the world and everything in it. My work is potent with love and care and joy to be in the presence of the human spirit resilient and vulnerable. I am so engaged with it all at the moment and drinking up its rewards and pleasures.

So, for me ‘gold’ is manifesting in that sense of having arrived somewhere new and truly transformed after challenging and dark times. Moving through the alchemical process of transformation, which begins in the dark place and engaging with functions of clarifying things through passion, fire, water and tears till we reach a place of purity and whiteness and feeling we have joined some dots, things began to make sense slowly till we landed with knowledge and insight to embrace where we came from and where we are now. There is a sense of balance also between the forces of the mind and compassion of the heart. At Spring equinox, in particular, it felt solid and in place when I sat with my past on my left and my future to my right, but solidly present in the moment facing what is here and now. A sense of achievement in the present moment and all the potential still waiting ahead. It is the perfect place of here and now. I am holding that golden chalice in my lap and I am overflowing with happiness and there is nothing that can’t be achieved.

Winter Sun

16142979_10154969190892650_5208725255778057114_n

This year for me is intended to be all about the Sun. My relationship with it, its energetic associations, masculine energy and the quality of Fire. The Sun and I have not been friends I must say due to my intolerance to heat, however, there is more to the Sun than the ability to warm and dry the earth. It shows us different sides, I feel depending on the season. Through running my workshop on the four seasons ‘Four Seasons of the Psyche’ I intend to redefine my relationship with summer and the Sun’s heat and the meaning of ‘burning’. I seek to grow into embracing and opening up to what I had often shrunk from. I would like to start observing the Sun in all its seasonal presentations, colours, energies, meanings and its effects on me starting with winter.

In spiritual terms I am drawn to an old ritual and story from Russia surrounding the Sun God, day and night Zorya Goddess

In Druidry there is a tradition to welcome the Sun in the morning and say goodbye to it at night RITUAL, which I do most days and it gives me a strong sense of belonging to the natural world and it also offers a purpose to the day, I find. In the morning I am ready to open myself up to whatever a day would bring, I go about my tasks and musings with intention and focus and when it is evening time I feel grateful to have lived another day and feel blessings inside my heart for all the joys I had experienced and challenges I had overcome. It can be a sort of meditation morning and evening, a daily practice, which roots us in where we are and what we are doing. I adore going out every morning into my garden whatever the weather, the first thing after waking. At night I often bow to the setting Sun and the rising Moon sometimes. It feel sacred, peaceful and meaningful.

For inspiration and devotionals, as part of your rituals and practice I recommend this book containing beautiful musings Celtic Devotional, Daily Prayers and Blessings by Caitlin Matthews 

It is January and the Sun today is bright and glorious. Winter Sun, I find, is not necessarily warming, but illuminating of senses, invigorating of energy within. It takes the film off my sight, so to speak, and clears my senses and I am able to gaze into it with clarity. Instead of Fire energy it has Air qualities to it – penetrating, alert, imaginative, light, and free-spirited. It has a spiritual feel to it too in terms of a visionary and intuitive, it is clear, pure, bright and inspiring. I am finding that I love winter Sun, which also brings crispy, frosty mornings and clear blue sky with it. The whole combination is so rejuvenating that I can never help myself but go out into the clear space of a winter morning. I like feeling a tingle on my face and warmth on the inside as I walk through woods and country fields. I can breathe fully and oh how life-giving it feels.

Image by Katie Still Jackson (Facebook)

Yearly signatures

 As 2015 was all about building strong interpersonal relationship. All about love

2016 was all about intense shadow work, a type where we were given little choice but to face our individual and collective Demons with an aim to understand, accept and transform.

2017 is all about here and now, being present with yourself and life. It is about questioning what it is all about here in the life that we have created for ourselves so far. It is not so much about reflecting on the past but moving forward and thinking ahead with actively engaging with our present. This year is a great opportunity to consolidate and bring to active being, feeling and doing day by day, moment by moment. It is about creating steps and rituals which root us in who we are and what we are doing here. It is about meaning and purpose and participation in all things heart, community, work, relationships. No more messing around, time to really live! 

It is about the Sun rather than the Moon, about light with holding darkness in check and awareness. About blooming rather than withdrawing, opening up not closing down. It’s about being a warrior for the good of yourself and humanity at large! 

FOUR seasons of the Psyche Workshop

 

seasons

I am planning to start running workshops from home in 2017 and this is my first offering. A beautiful, creative, experiential exploration and a journey through the seasons.

I am excited to connect with all of you!

Full details and information

HERE 

look-deep-into-nature-and-then-you-will-understand-everything-better-albert-einstein

Loving the Earth

treehugger1

What does it mean when people say they love the Earth? Are references to mother Earth genuinely felt or imagined? To me the relationship is sacred, very real and alive presenting itself every day whether it comes in a form of me picking rubbish from the forest floor or stroking a tree’s cool bark in my Nemeton whispering all sorts to it, or simply knowing the feeling of love and protection towards it.

For me the feeling of love for the Earth changes and flows with the seasons. I am usually overwhelmed with the feeling during late spring, early summer when things are highly emotional and sensory for me. Nature explodes into its full majesty and I am swept off my feet with overload of its richness. Summer forest makes me feel lost in the Earth’s glory and majesty and I often spend days in awe of its constant transformation, changes and endurance. I admire her at this time.

During Autumn I feel incredibly grateful for all the gifts the Earth gives us yearly. I can’t express the depth of gratitude I feel every year as I dig up potatoes and pick ripe fruit and vegetables from heavy ready plants. When I immerse my hands in soil whether it is weeding, digging or just holding some soil I feel immense connection and resonance with its heart beat. My heart sings with the flow of love and I cry.

In late autumn while many are saddened by the death of the Sun, I am very aware of the Earth’s need for rest and rejuvenation. I start feeling very protective in a way a mother would do towards a child wanting to keep it warm and safe. I want it to stay warm in winter, hence really wishing for snow, so the Earth gets covered and sheltered till spring. I want it to rest, sleep and longer nights are very welcomed by me. I am very aware of the being that sleeps underneath last year’s leaves and hopefully snow and I often walk very carefully when out not to wake her.

When the first stirrings of the Earth occur in February I feel excitement and warmth. I become aware of things developing and waking up very slowly and gently. I love that time of year too.

This relationship is ever-changing and ongoing. It growth in strength and awareness with each year and provides countless lessons as each season welcomes me. As I continue my love affair with the Earth I come more and more into myself and become aware of the love within me, towards myself and all nature’s creatures. The Earth/Gaia mirrors back to us a sense of our own beauty and wisdom. In her we find ourselves, we line up with all that is meant to be. This is always my experience and it is the most profound feeling of belonging and coming ‘home’. It is truly blissful. I continually seek new ways of relating and protecting what I love deeply and will carry on for as long as I live with devotion and commitment.

How does your love for the Earth manifest?