Messages from the body

This week’s work is focused on and the first insight is about the physical body. As promised each week I am going to tune into a particular area for exploration with a purpose of gaining deeper insight and manifesting cleansing and healing.
Ideas flowed in this morning as I began my day. My intention was to make a set up for my work, first of all, in order to facilitate energetic, mindful and psychic work to come. Such a place would normally be my altar.
four elements altar, body healing
As the theme unfolding in my awareness was to do with the body I wanted to include the four elements, as the earth/nature holds them so do we in our bodies. Incense for Air, bowl for Water, Wood for Earth and Candles for Fire and purple crystal for Spirit. We are one and my intention was to include nature into the work as I do usually. This allows for deeper insight and connection to myself and to the outside world. It is stormy weather outside today so I had to bring the elements in, which was sort of very relevant in terms of exploring them within myself.
The idea was to explore a particular habit/attachment of mine to do with food and look into whether there was an emotional signature that was stuck within my physical container. I did this with my other physical habit with great success previously. The work is to discover what need or emotion might lie beneath a certain behaviour. It helped enormously and really is the best way to work with any addictive or habitual behaviour, which potentially harms us. It is bringing the wound up to the light and healing it consciously and meeting the need that we are unconsciously trying to meet with turning to various activities and things.
This morning didn’t go according to plan and I do love it when that happens. First of all I noticed huge resistance straight away to doing this work and I noticed myself delaying and delaying and once I was ready for my journeying pretty much straight away I was pulled out of it and insights came in strong and fast before I even did anything. I found that quite striking as it was quick but so illuminating.
I was told loud and clear before I started doing the body scan that it is my broken tooth that needed attention and ‘haven’t I procrastinated enough about it?’ and why wouldn’t I attend to my teeth when there is such a clear need. I felt well and truly told off :O) and yes, why wouldn’t I? Is that a loving thing to do to ignore areas that need fixing in my body and just ignore it? I booked my appointment immediately and went straight away. The universe had an opening for me in the next half hour (what are the chances).
So, the insight is to attend to things that we are actually conscious of first and foremost before delving deeper into possible unconscious reasons of whatever it is that is causing us discomfort in the physical. Quite simple, right, but how many of us are ignoring what is clearly visible, felt and screaming for help? Lack of self-compassion, acknowledgement and self-love could potentially be dangerous not just to our bodies but our well-being on the whole. It felt very different for me as again there was such avoidance and resistance to my making that phone call regardless of how loud the inner voice was. I hesitated as I realised that this was not familiar for me to stand up for myself, so to speak, and how often I had previous ignored it. Earlier last year I would have been in real trouble by ignoring something very serious if it wasn’t for someone else pushing me to make the call. I know I would not have done it myself and I am scared to think what could have been if I ignored the signs.
Deal with what is manifesting, felt and present. What you are fully aware of right now in your body? Where is pain, imbalance, discomfort? Attend to that. Deal with that as soon as you can because why wouldn’t you? Why would your body be less important in wanting to be well than anyone else’s? We are used to care taking others, as it’s been looked upon as such a positive and valued thing to do in the society. Self-sacrifice is an idea that somehow would lift you up above and merge you with God. But what about you? Aren’t you as one with God and nature? If you ignore one you ignore the other. If we really think about it, it doesn’t make sense and it is time to shift out thinking around self-love and compassion and listening to our bodies is one such step towards well-being on the whole.
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Space vs enclosure

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The debate started within me after my last visit to Scotland when one week I spent in the North with vast open spaces, wilderness mountains and the sea and the other week was spent in a tiny cottage in the woods. You can read about my experiences HERE. 
What I thought I preferred turned out to be something else and I was asked to consider other ways and it was a challenge.
Recently after spending a whole day in the woods and ‘overdosing’ on nature but not in a good way I was reminded of my experience in Scotland. It made me think further about spaces, my preferences and how things are changing for me as I continue on my healing and spiritual journey.

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Manifesting quick is not always good

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One would think quick manifesting is a great thing, however, I am finding out it is not always the case. It can be so quick one has no time to settle into an idea of something to be manifested. Often we confuse our desires with needs and mix our attachments and history into the mix. If your tendencies are to do everything quickly, very organised and efficient it is likely you will be able to manifest things quickly. You will possess a strong Air element qualities (good networking, working things out, communicating, create lots of ideas and be inspired a lot) as well as strong Earth element qualities (bring ideas to life, good decision-making, sensible ways of going about things).

What I am being shown lately and, on reflection, not for the first time that sometimes a long game is much better where a range of qualities get tested and clarified and there’s a satisfaction of achieving something at the end of it having gone through a process rather than a single action. This longer process is still manifesting yet being in life at the same time, being present with each step weaving magic carefully with evaluating every step rather than experiencing it so quick it can feel almost unwanted at the end. This puzzled me a couple of times before and the more recent events, which included super-fast manifesting, made me stop and reflect. When what seemed like ‘a dream come true’ action occurred very quickly I was thrown into the sea of emotions and not the ones I would have expected to feel. I felt tangled up, very unclear in my mind with a lot of shadow material of the old original coming forward in me. I couldn’t understand it. This felt like something that did happen before and it made me think about manifesting quick.

We are such animals, I think, that need to have things settled within us. Part of the problem today is that we rush and we don’t stop to hear ourselves, listen to our hearts and slowdown in life, therefore nothing has time to settle in its planning stages and subsequently post- manifestation. I believe we need to pause and often with ourselves to check, to feel, to revise, to ask lots of questions and be in our bodies fully. I failed to do all of the above this time round, which then activated events, e.g. accidents and illness, having to do things I didn’t want, almost on the back of that ‘awesome’ manifestation that happened.

Quick magic and modern life, perhaps, is a way of bypassing the moment of quiet slowing down and settling in the heart. May be they don’t mix well when done impulsively and with what can be described too much Fire energy. Perhaps, manifestation spells and work should be more aligned with Water and Earth qualities within.

This is such a good lesson for me and I hope some of you might relate to this and continue to observe your own magic in this world and learn to navigate it with more awareness, softness and patience. I do have patience, but it seems to present often in a direct competition with my driven, impulsive nature. I need to learn to balance.

I recommend this book on the subject of weaving magic in the modern world.

Ignite your Fire 

The current emotional state I find myself in is anything but Firy. It is the Water element that has taken hold in its distorted state manifesting in moodiness, lack of motivation and inability to settle. This is how depressive state begins when focus is almost impossible and apathy sets in. There is no drive, energy or enthusiasm. Fire sparks up now and again, but again in its distorted state in ways of angry outbursts and frustration, dissatisfaction, which is often projected onto the world, weather, other people. Not great way to be and I don’t like it one bit.

Things in the house are literary losing their ‘spark’ and breaking down, particularly electrical things like iron, microwave, heating and boiler. One thing after another. It feels deflating and cold. What is there to do, I ask? The Goddess reassures me she’s around for guidance yet I move away from her unable to listen. My body is devoid of heat and energy and I wonder aimlessly about my days.

Outside it’s raining and mild when it should be winter. I never thought I would feel lethargic for the absence of real winter yet it is snow and cold that I crave so I can settle properly into the season. Instead it’s raining and I find myself yearning for the snowy mountains and freezing winds, sparkling cover on the ground and winter Sun. I try to fly away to lands where winter is present but again unable to project myself very far. Stifling…

Today I decided to drive to the woods away from home to seek some peace and answers. It is raining but I don’t mind as feel the need to be with whatever it is that slows me down. I get out of the car and walk into the forest. It feels pleasing straight away, the smell of wet ground and fresh air surrounds me. In silence I stand and turn to my right to a sight of deer very close by. My spirit is sparked for that moment where we stand and look at each other. I smile and feel gratitude. Things get better as I walk deeper into the forest. I discover Fire in the palm of my right hand, which I hold open and the rain stops. It’s amusing to play with it putting my hand away and taking it out again to show to the forest. I ask for the rain to stop and it does. My hand does the magic. I feel my spirits lifting slightly yet the fire in my hand also slips away eventually. It is calm, no rain and again I see the deer in the bush next to me. I smile. I feel better.

What also comes to me is the fact that I have been focusing on the Water element too much making an error in understanding what’s needed. At first a couple of weeks ago when I became aware of the absence of fire I welcomed water into my days and solidified and intensified my focus on it. I placed water items on my altar and what occurred was the opposite, I went too much into it. I understand it now. Now I know I need to shift things towards the fire intentionally. I need to work on it and make it spark again so changing my altar set up once again to see things shift.

Magic is a work of awareness, attention, focus and really listening. It is also not always about accuracy of messages but an ability to shift with changes in awareness. It is about adapting to what gets presented and reading the messages that one sees, hears or feels.

It is a strange period of time, however I remain open to observations and changes that might come in the next few days. I hope. Staying with myself no matter what and however hard it might be.

Many blessings!

 
  

Number 4 and Diamond Symbol meaning

It is becoming clear that the number four and a diamond shape carry a strong significance in my spiritual development, which then throws light on events in my physical life and provides deeper meaning. I feel it has been showing up for the last few months and only last night I had yet another dream, which featured a number four. This dream displayed a real clock on the wall where I focused on the number three thinking that was the END of a certain appointment, I was simply convinced, however, as dream showed it was not, indeed, till the fourth hour that completion was to take place. It came as a revelation to me and felt so knowing and ‘oh yes’ realisation.

The feeling surrounding these insights is one of strong support and illumination in a way of providing me with not just meaning, but grounding and nurturing.

What number four means in a spiritual sense is a completion of some sort whether it is a cycle, a task, an undertaking or a journey. I have known about the meaning for sometime through my transpersonal studies. On looking further it does resonate deeply with my practice and beliefs and I felt recently, e.g. number three (trinity of things) incomplete somewhat. In fact only recently I wrote about Tarot card readings where I talk about four cards readings HERE

As we approach the end of the calendar year and Winter Solstice 2016 I am even more in tune with what might be showing up for me regarding symbols I am witnessing. I really resonate with some information and research out there on number four and diamond shape. HERE is a good article

Four Moon cycles, four seasons, four elements – all important parts to my spiritual practice, which I have deep relationship with.

This, what feels like a change, a new beginning, is pointing me towards solidifying some of my beliefs and practices and adjusting how I see and do things going forward. One insight I had this morning was about the Triple Goddess (Wiccan), which I have always identified with, but again, it is that three that felt incomplete to me and this morning it felt strong. Therefore, the forth aspect came forward to me – a child aspect. It seems ‘she’ (little baby soul and a little girl) wants to get in on the game and be integrated into my spiritual practice as well as serving my psychological development further providing insight into my natural essence. This makes sense to me and before the time of Maiden, which I feel comes around Spring Equinox there is time for a child self, who is essentially ‘in the womb’, in the darkness of winter. This links with all sorts of insights into shadow aspects and those parts of myself that need healing and it is a continuous flow of work, which doesn’t stop. It gets deepened with every change of season.

Another insight that came was about the trinity of sacred lands. I also wrote about this recently HERE and what came to me was the fourth ‘land’, which wants to be included and integrated in the whole of my experience on Earth so far, that is the land of my birth – Siberia, Russia.

I aim to do more work, meditation and analysis on the things above to gain better understanding of what needs attention, change, integration or acknowledgement and I feel very excited by it. I feel touched, privileged and humbled by such beautiful opportunities presented to be through my relationship with spirit and myself on a soul level and a gift of dream life that I have. Always keen to learn and listen I look forward to having my dreams continue bringing me information and messages in the meantime.

IMAGES 

Softness

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The quality of softness is beautifully warm, healing, lightening and transforming. I first heard of it from my parents many years ago in the context of the quality being very positive and admirable particularly in a woman. A girl or a young lady with a quality of softness was approved of and considered pleasant and easy to relate to and live with, however, this can be explained due to the nature of patriarchal society in which ‘soft’ otherwise called timid and agreeable woman was considered exactly what was expected. I often felt saddened as a child and then as a young woman as I was not considered soft. I was criticised for not being soft enough. I, however, always felt soft on the inside, but that’s for another post.

Here I want to look at the quality from a perspective of being soft without abandoning or diminishing any of the other qualities and remaining in balance. What I mean is that with the presence of softness, i.e. Water element quality, robustness and grit of Fire element is not missing or Air quality of intellect is absent.

Softness is a spirit quality, it is pure, it is aethentic and intoxicatingly beautiful. I experience it in a similar way I would sense a soft skin of a young child or the 5th dimansional being in a form of a young Goddess or a delicate bird or a stunning small flower amidst a storm. I can think of many archetypes from different cultures, which carry that quality well.

I have heard references to a ‘softer’ perspective on many occasions since I first came across it as a young woman. When something is presented to us, which feels jarring and hard, be it a person’s manner or a conversation that results in us being hurt, we feel wounded, lost and under threat. I feel it strongly when someone is being unfair or harsh or aggressive in an exchange for whatever reason. Natural reaction mostly for many is to react, scream in pain and project all the pain we feel on to the other. Some circumstances might require that, but what if instead we took a ‘softer’ stance. This can be done in various ways. Firstly one needs to know what the quality of softness feels like to them and what it means. Once that signature is found and integrated one can always access it whenever needed. It can be done with other things like ‘inner peace signature’ or a ‘productive fire energy signature’ to name a few. These are like environments we step into, suits or hats we can choose to wear in any given moment when it’s needed. It is a dance between the elements if you like. We employ certain qualities to balance something out or help us move forward from a certain position.

Today softness signature was the one I decided to choose. I was hurt by a conversation with someone harsh and ego-centric, inflexible and cold. I found myself crambling under yet another attack and felt it was enough. I expressed my hurt and in order to discharge that imbalance within me I called upon ‘softness’ before letting my pain consume me. These days I choose not to. An image of a woman flashed before me as I sat down. She had a delicate face, pure white skin and soft expression in her eyes. This is who I want to embody in that moment. She reminded me of the healing potential of stepping into softness.

I sat with it, let it wash over you. Choosing softness is neutralising and calming and puts you in touch with goodness. Softness when understood and used in the right context is a good quality, it is void of extremes and very grounding. More than that it produces forgiveness and compassion for the other persons. When merging into a softer way of being, not only you can express your hurt and choose not to spill into unnecessary projections you can also open the heart towards another who needs it even more than you do, perhaps, in that moment.

Every time the hurt came back I thought ‘softness’ again and again until I felt my body lightning and my focus returning.

bright_softness_by_ellohine

Th greatest gift of all

photoA man walked along a deserted beach when he came upon a cave. He heard many stories told that the greatest gift of all lied inside it. With confidence he walked up to the entrance when suddenly the door slammed shut right in front of him and a face appeared in the stone covering the entrance.

The face spoke, ‘To gain entry you must have wisdom of the sea, land and sky’ and it disappeared. The man stood confused. ‘What does that all mean? I don’t like water, woods scare me and flying is impossible’ he pondered on what the face said.

The face appeared once more, ‘What you are thinking are obstacles your mind puts in your way, you are out of touch with your body and emotions. Within you lie treasures of courage, vision, curiosity and intuition. Go on your way and once you obtain the wisdom of the sea, land and sky, you can enter the cave.’

The man walked towards the ocean and sat down on the shore in deep thought. Suddenly a seal came up to the surface and said, ‘I feel myself breathe when I swim in the water. It is invigorating, freeing and soothing. When I swim I hold faith that my body is so intelligent it will not only carry me through it, it will also open up the sea world beyond. With breathing you can feel deep within your body, which is a precious vessel of your soul’.

‘My soul? said the man. How do I know I have one?’

‘By breathing and feeling the water, as you glide through its surface and depths, by merging with the ocean as one and tuning into the feeling of being in the body, alive and flowing. You have not been present with yourself for a long time and lost touch with what it feels like to be free flowing with emotions.’

‘That sounds beautifully simple’, the man thought. Walking into the ocean he began to swim experiencing what the seal described to him. ‘I feel my soul’, the man screamed in delight.

The man sat on the shore when a bird few by and stopped to tell him a story of its experience in the air and how when it surrendered to the wind and allowed for it to carry it the bird’s heart expanded in freedom and joy. ‘We birds have skills and much experience in flying high and low, but without allowing and being one with the elements control threatens to take the wonderful feeling of freedom away’.

‘What if I fall? said the man

‘What if you don’t fall? said the bird. Fear, control and lack of faith is what holds you back from feeling fully alive’.

The man reflected on what the bird said and became overwhelmed by a feeling of wanting to fly with the wind and to look over the world from above. At that moment a mole popped its head from underneath the earth and began describing what it was like for him to be in touch with the soil he lived in. ‘But it is dark underneath’, the man quickly started to protest.

The mole said, ‘When you get accustomed to being in the dark you begin to see the light, a special kind of light, a light that feels homely, peaceful and glorious’.

The man suddenly felt deeply sad and alone for he had not experienced any of the things animals talked about for a long time. So, he decided to become each creature for a day to live through their experiences and learn to breath, feel, surrender and being comfortable in the dark. He decided it was time he learnt the wisdom of the sea, land and sky and when he was done, he was transformed. Many years had passed and the man undertook many more trials and challenges to obtain the wisdom the face on the cave spoke about. And when one day he was passing by the cave again the entrance was wide open for him to walk through. There was light streaming from within. The man recognised it as that special kind of light the mole told him about many years before.

There was a creature inside sitting against a beautiful lush tree with birds singing all round and water running off the rocks as clear as crystal and things growing in all splendour of colours and shapes. The creature smiled warmly at the man and said, ‘Welcome to your inner self. You have come far by learning the wisdom of the sea, land and sky. The greatest gift of all is your own inner beauty. You are home now.’

The man cried tears of joy and his heart filled up with love and gratitude. He felt in a state of belonging with everything and everyone. He felt whole.

Raw Pagan