Post-Samhain

samhain 2017

The energy of stillness and quiet is present today post-Samhain and it is so soothing to the mind, body and spirit after the turbulence of the last couple of months raw with angry and sorrowful depression, days filled with anxious hours and feeling completely bereft of love. There were many points during the ‘die off’ period when I thought there would be no relief from twisting, reforming and restructuring of all that I call life. It truly feels like a process of rebirth this year.

There is no coincidence that it is my birthday in a few days and so I have a ‘real’ chance to be born again. My birthday this year also feels very significant, which is not something that comes up every year. It is truly a moment of transition for me. It carries a sense of some profound change, not simply a way of letting go off the old, but really stepping into a state of being new. The transformation this year is manifesting through the element of Water (the birth element of November) where healing plays a huge part. It is not the usual Fire regeneration and rebirth. What is occurring ‘post-death’ is a state of cleansed and new straight out of the Earth womb. I am also being connected to the Moon in a very strong way and it is going to be a Full Moon on my birthday this year and I intend to engage with it, which, again, is new for me. I have some magical workings planned and one of the callings with this rebirth is to step into my power, really feel it as I am being born into the new, and embrace exactly what I can do. It fills me with energy, which I can only describe as excited knowing and quiet wisdom.

Today, on the 1st November I am also clearing out my altar to simplify the space to allow for that new and shiny energy to come in and settle. I crave everything simple, bare, white, pure and light. It is a new beginning for me and I will be writing a dedication, devotional offering to the Goddess of wisdom and all life, Ceilleach, to ask her to take me into her cave of rebirth and guide me on the journey of connection to my new self and generating relationships going forward based on love, kindness, dignity and compassion.

Wishing you blessed future and Happy Celtic New Year!

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Full Moon January 2017 

  
The full moon had me frozen, silent and encapsulated in my own feelings. I experienced inner peace and war all at the same time.It felt like I was encircled by a silver ring with a raging fire inside of it. Grounded yet very aware of the burning within. 

The moon has a capacity to illuminate I feel. Awareness sharpens and all senses become alive and it is often hard to control it hence one can swing from feeling peaceful to rageful, from laughter to tears, hot to cold. It doesn’t feel safe and I have to hold my awareness in harness not to break that silver ring that surrounds all my emotional waters within. 
The sleep was deep and reflective and on waking I was back to balance, myself and feeling self-assured in what I needed to do. 

New Moon revisited

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I just read an old post of mine about upgrades I received a while back about love during Dark Moon period. POST HERE 

During that time the information I received was to cultivate the love within, make it grow regardless on whether I am in a relationship or not. My awareness of inner power and the vibration of unconditional love within became strong and clear. What I also felt, however, and yes, this is the tinge of darker shade I imagine needed to be added, was my lack of need for a partner. I feel that was thrown in there to see if I get confused, by-pass a few things and really get the message. Reading it back my perception of what the message really was changed. It was wonderful to have received the insight and a real felt sense of the love within me. I connected to myself on a different level during that time and it has stayed with me, but what was the other side of it? Did I really need to abandon all my relationships purely because I felt I didn’t need that for as long as I love myself? Do you see a slight distortion in the message that I perceived to be that way. It is a bit of riddle, which in this post I attempt to unravel.

With some time passed and a few view on that particular time and insight I can see the mixture of vibrations woven into what I was experiencing. It was yet another test, firstly, on whether I would be able to really connect to myself and sustain that vibration of self-love on a continuous basis. The second part was to challenge me to stop and think deeper into what was actually best for me and how that newly found inner love could serve me AND the other rather than ‘I don’t need the other, I am complete as I am’. Over some time what occurred in my life with regards to my life partner has actually been a deepening of our connection and love rather than abolition of all connection. What I feel now is not only love within, but deep wisdom of the Earthly love and what that means to be a partner, a wife, a life companion. It feels deeply grounded, safe and soul soothing. One might say my initial insight had taken me on a journey towards further discovering of how my inner love manifested out there in my relationships and through deepening connecting rather than letting go off it, my inner love grew and my wisdom became a guiding voice here on Earth. One might say the Spirit vibration got manifested in real terms in this dimension, which is the ultimate goal of spirituality and a struggle for so many.

The lesson of this is not to see things as they appear on the surface, but allow for it to develop, look deeper, give it time to really make sense in your body and in your current reality. There is often more to a message than meets the eye and we are often to quick to make a judgement and a decision, which sometimes is nothing more than an unconscious attempt to run away from something, a resistance to something.

Happy New Moon and cultivating new seeds of love and wisdom!

 

Transforming with the cycles of nature

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Following the cycles of nature and changing seasons of the year have brought me much awareness of myself, the world around me and how everything can be observed, healed and transformed when one is prepared to ‘stop and stare’ and become one with what is happening at any given moment.

Celebrating festivals of the year has always been at the centre of my nature-based spiritual path. It provided such strong and firm foundation for placing me within the universe and making me feel as one with everyone and everything. It brought me peace. It is the most grounding thing I have ever done. It keeps me in constant observation and analysis of what is essential and what is non-essential, what needs healing and what needs to die. Its focus is always on the balance of things and with the changing temperatures, leaves on trees and colours of the sky one becomes aware of what is out of balance within. It is so clear and so touchingly beautiful when the feeling of yourself as one with nature transforms into an understanding of the deepest psychical workings within myself.

Yesterday, as I was reading a book on Druidry (something I am currently studying) I was struck with something that clicked within. There was a clear moment of something pure, clear and light coming through me. I often get this sensation when something grounds in my awareness and resonates with my soul. This year has been a challenge in every aspect and my seasonal patterns have been reaffirmed to me again, e.g. spring is not a good time for me, filled with emotional pain and rejection, whereas with the coming of autumn all is good again. It is just one example. The biggest pattern that I identified and solidified in my awareness this year is just how much the LIGHT has been missing. I wrote about ‘My light is in the shadow’ HERE.

Well, while reading about Druid philosophy and their strong ties with the Sun and light as opposed to the Moon and darkness, which had been mentioned in several sources I have come across, I realised why Druidry is now presenting itself to me as a chosen path to follow. I need to walk towards the Sun, from within outwards. I am now ready to be in the Light. I am also on a quest to find a Patron God, a masculine deity, which can guide me. I have so far only been working with the feminine deities, although recently I began experiencing for the first time the influence of the male God. On my witchcraft path I have worked and revelled in the darkness, which I strongly resonate with, perhaps, combining it with the lighter brighter Druid Sun workings might bring balance to my practice in an even more profound way. Therefore, my plan is, which I feel a lot of excitement about is to consciously implement and integrate what I have learnt over this year and walk into the next cycle, post Yule and starting with my favourite Imbolc in 2017 focusing on introducing my psyche to the Light and the Sun, learning to love and find joy in it instead of hiding away. One way will be focusing on all those festivals I felt less resonance with previously (it is understandable), like Beltain and Summer Solstice, e.g. and being the ‘summer’. This is truly conscious transformational experience that I now seek for myself and can’t wait to see what transpires. It will be an experiment to see if more balance is actually needed, as it might not be the case at all, which means something else will come forward and allow me to see what is needed. The first step is always becoming aware and the second decide to walk towards something that calls.