We are many parts

  
We are not one person. We are many aspects within one being. There are many parts to us and all are equally in need of love and attention. All carry a purpose and a lesson within their manifestation and knowing yourself requires looking at all parts of ourselves. 

We all have a child, adolescent, adult, parent, wise self, wounded self, divine self within us. Some of those split into further parts, some perceived as good and others as bad, or positive and negative. The truth is we are all of those and none of them are less or more, better or worse, higher or lower. We are one rich, ancient being carrying a kingdom within us with many parts that play a role in our lives.

From the point of view of the Elements we are all four. We are qualities of Fire, Air, Water and Earth. 

From a role perspective we are sibling, child, parent, adult, grandchild and spouse.  
We are the whole year with all four seasons within. We carry winter, spring, summer and autumn within us. We are animals, mystical creatures, plants, trees, rivers, caves. 

We carry spirit within us also, that pure part of unconditional love, peace, non-attachment and non-judgement. 

Different parts act out in different situations and scenarios in our lives. We are a mother one minute and the next we are a warrior. We are led to a particular path by our elder side and another is a playground where we are a child. We might sing like a bird one minute and the next we are in touch with the universe as a spirit. We pray, love, work, cook, teach, dance, flight and cry. We are all together a beautiful orchestra of different voices and a collection of qualities and resources.

We are powerful beyond belief if we look at ourselves as all of those parts and each is given time, attention and love when needed. We acknowledge what needs to change, grow or soothed at any given moment. We caretake our whole being with hearing them all out equally without rejection of anything and acceptance of all. 

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Intuition and writing 

Intuition is invaluable when partaking in writing. Something I am becoming aware more and more as I write more. It often feels similar to magic when you simply know what tools to use, how and when and results just come together. It is the same with words, which come when one is tuned into emotions in the moment. It works when there is no overthinking and spontaneous leaps are taken in narratives. For sure you edit and edit and more edit as you progress but that initial expression is often the most powerful, in my experience. Some words seem to come from nowhere and that is so exciting to me when writing. The same applies to scenes and characters.

Just like I would intuitively know what oil to use with what candle and what Goddess/God/deity would support my work, I sometimes hear words coming out of me which happen to be just right for what I am writing about.

My tip is not to think, but to feel and listen and free write. I also recommend free associations as often as possible with images, nature scenes, trees, seasons, just allow for whatever is called for to come through. I think it stimulates and trains your imagination. It feels like magic and your intuition is your magic, your inner knowing that offers what is needed when it is needed.

New year new altar 


Today I am clearing spaces, putting things away and changing things round in every room. I love this ritual of renewal and when better than in January.

I have been waiting for this energy with anticipation and excitement after a densely packed and quite unpleasant and suffocating month of December. I have become aware there is a pattern of a certain vibration that shows up every year towards the end of the year. More to learn, unpack and transform. Great learning.

My lovely Yule altar, which I wanted to be simple and effective this year with colours of red and white, served well during dark times. I love Yule. Now it’s time for a change. I am ready. Everything that’s been is now gone and it feels good. There’s only today and a possibility of tomorrow.

January is an active, inspirational and creative time for me usually. I enjoy it usually and throw myself into work, projects being very focused, motivated and organised. This, I feel, is present again this year, but along with the ‘doing’ I am also including the ‘being’ vibration. Peaceful and soothing, soft and gentle, restful and meditative. Therefore for this time in-between now and Imbolc on the 2nd February my altar goes to my sort of ‘default’ presentation of peace and tranquility, Buddha like space which I love so very much. Colours are purple and white and the feeling is love, light and peace. 

My intention is to go out there and grab life and do lots of exciting things, create beautiful musings and engage in writing and learning as much as I can, but also give myself space and time to be still, present, focused within and at peace with myself and the world.
Blessings!

2016 in pictures 

Thank you to all the followers for all your comments, reading and getting involved.

Wishing you the best 2017! Let Nature be with you always.

Much love and many blessings

Raw Pagan


  

silver birth by the side of the road – the Queen of trees 

  

first signs of life, early spring 


ready for planting, Spring 
Spring Equinox time, my cats 
Woods, Wales, April 2016
Snowdonia, April 2016
May 2016, my woods 


Reading in the garden, summer 


Mushroom picking, Highlands, Scotland 

  

Glencoe, Scotland, July 2016
Sea fishing, Scotland 
North Scotland, July 2016 
Late summer, Home 
Lammas 2016


Elderberry harvesting 

  

Cooking apples harvesting 
Berries harvest, August 
10 years Wedding anniversary 
Samhain present for myself 

  

Glamping, Wales, October 2016
Wales, late autumn

  

Snowdonia, October 2016
Rowan by the river, Wales 

  

studying 


My birthday present (painted by my father) 

  

November walk 


At home 
Yule altar 2016 
Glastonbury Tor trip, Winter Solstice 2016
Yule Eve 
Yule log 2016

Wizard’s crisis or awareness in destiny? 

 This post is filled with questions for further work and exploration. Questioning is a good thing, sorting through what comes into awareness is a useful process for us all.

Accepting the destiny of a wizard… Is it for the greater good or is it really just for indulgence and encouraging non-learning of human kindness and virtue in others?
Is it your destiny or simply a boundary issue? It got me thinking. I became aware of boundaries many years ago and truly understand the concept, however even with that knowing I seem to be called upon in times of trouble. Is it something I am to accept and embrace? Love has been another big lesson. Unconditional universal love which doesn’t judge. Judgement is another one. Lessons keep on coming.

Is it right for one person to bear all and forgive all? Sounds Godly, right? But what if some people are meant to follow the path of unconditional giving, acceptance and non-judgement. Ultimate healers, who in no way are above others but simply slot into healing way of being naturally. No doubt ego of humanity translates it as ‘above it all’ message, which is incorrect. Does one let others walk all over? What is the adjustment point? Perhaps this is a period of time when one is called into awareness of looking into it?

One sacrifices all in cause of greater good and finds a way always to get back to themselves, like recharging in the forest or does one withdraw its loving influence when unappreciated? The battle between ego and spirit? Is it even possible to exercise that kind of love on earth in that place of high vibrational consistency or is there a point one burns out and manifests all darkness within themselves through taking on too much from others?

Is it the price you pay for doing good? Is it even good enough? For those unconscious it will never be good enough but is it good enough from a wizard’s point of view?

I watch Merlin struggle in his efforts of saving the world and restoring peace yet he remains unrecognised and unappreciated? What does he get out of it? He talks of his destiny to do this, he struggles with surrendering to it yet he knows it deeply, he continues regardles, however painful. Is this what all wizards go through ultimately for love and peace? He inspires me.
Doesn’t one rejoice seeing others happy and restored to balance? Is this something healers do selflessly?

Lessons hierarchy:
Boundaries

Love

Importance of expressing anger

Recharging through the place of soul (land in my case)

Not surrendering to darkness but embrace it in loving kindness (shadow)

Inner child (comforting and protecting that part of yourself)

Importance of a safe place

Importance of withdrawing into non-action?

No punishment or retaliation

Holding peace within

Wizards’ work is never done.

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Working with the Elements 

 

I learnt to apply elemental wisdom to my every day activities, the way I think, feel and behave. A certain system has been formed in my awareness based on the four elements. It happened through continuous observation of nature it all its forms and presentations. It seems to go like this:

When I am in my Air element my thinking is engaged. I focus on my thoughts in a given moment and go through them deciding an action or making a plan.

Out of a thought comes a certain feeling, emotional response to what my mind is presenting. The more I focus on a thought the more I feel. I engage my Water function. Some emotions are not pleasant and my Fire might come in to inform me whether to act or not, whether my Fire is to be dynamic, productive and needed or is simply a response to a thought, which is not something I want to engage with. Fire is the necessary part of the process as an alchemical operation of burning something to clarity, purifying something till its purpose is revealed. I am given a choice in this part of the process. I choose whether I trust my feeling and therefore the original thought it is connected to will serve me or I recognise its nature as something that needs to be put aside or healed.
After a thought and a feeling with engagement of Fire comes behaviour. Next comes manifestation, the doing of what once was only a thought form. The Earth element is needed here and I test myself on how ready I am to hold the energy of the thought and emotion and how confident I am about bringing it to life. Earth is holding, strong, calm and reassuring and when engaged is a powerful tool to help us manifest.

So that’s how the process goes in a form of a system. With practice similar to certain psychotherapeutic approaches one not only can become aware of their thoughts but how they make us feel and behave. Nature is a powerful tool to use along the same lines yet so much deeper as nature serves as a witness to our process engaging all of our senses.

Ever feel that you are being pulled into water when what’s needed is to stay grounded? Nature is clever like that it tests by giving us options and challenges our choices whether it is to act, feel or behave in a certain way, a bit like a therapist might. 

The other day consumed by worrying thoughts, which were producing powerful emotions in me ,I found myself by the water. I needed to decide what’s next, am I to manifest my state or am I in need to look at it further before making a choice.
As I stood on the bank of a lake between Water and Earth I saw my dilemma clearly. Do I jump into my feelings and get consumed by them or do I remain on firm Earth and allow myself to be held together. There was anger, sadness, frustration all emotions with an undertone of Fire. I made a decision to transmute it back to the Earth through holding on to trees allowing them to balance things out within me. I left more together, composed and with awareness of what was happening within me that morning.

Shedding with the season 

 As I pull out remaining weeds and dried out reminder of flowers and vegetables once blooming on my allotment I reflect on the play between holding on and letting go.

Weeds are still green with roots deep in the soil resist my pull and I find pleasure in clearing space for the next year’s growth.

I am brutal with weeds, but over the last few years I became more mindful and reflective on the process of wanting to stay and needing to go. 

It explains why I love autumn and winter even more. My thinking becomes clearer. My goals become crystallised and the path in front of me stretches ahead. In summer when woods are overgrown and taken over by brambles and ferns I feel confused. I feel enclosed and my thinking and creativity are not sharp. In the second part of the year I can breathe once again and start the process of deciding what to keep and what to let go off. The emptiness is inviting and exciting to me.

I sweep, clean and dust ‘the old’ and create space within and around me for the season of reflection and new beginnings. 

What are you holding on to at this point? What are you not wanting to let go off?