During Winter Solstice I connected strongly with the warrior side of me and the archetypal energy of The King Arthur. He’s loyal, devoted, honourable, noble, has humility, just, fair, super brave, protector and nurturer of his kingdom and people. He’s been coming to me for a few weeks before Yule and I was called to visit Glastonbury Tor, a place I never thought of yet the message was so clear I had to go. Following callings of the land is something I do openly and easily now in my spiritual practice. It always pays off and makes sense when I merge with energies that summon me.
Winter is a masculine energy season for me. It is about colour red and Fire element qualities – vibrant, dynamic, passionate and action-driven. It is about setting goals to benefit my growth in service of my life and those around me. I connect with the noble young king within. The night before Yule he came to me in a dream and with a passionate kiss he proclaimed his commitment to the land and his life purpose of protecting weak and vulnerable, to fight against injustice and honour all those that came before him, carrying on the legacy of warriors of his Kingdom.
The word WIN came to me while sitting outside looking over a field which stretches beyond my garden. I saw sticks of a tree painting letter W in the misty atmosphere of the morning. It felt complete, clear and felt in the body. I saw a knight on horseback in red cape galloping away from the site.
I have been aligning with my desire for a certain job, which has felt like destiny for a few years and the feeling is that 2017 is a portal for manifesting that desire. Exciting.
Win with your heart and intention alongside doubts and fears, win not over them but with them, win together what is meant for you, for your home and family. Win with your abilities and skills, your passion and love for the land and the people. Win so you can give, spread the light further. Win with hard work and dedication and razor sharp focus on what’s meant to be in my grasp.
Win through learning, relating, engaging and connecting with all that is available. Win through the open heart of dedication to the craft and love for nature.
Win, win, win not against something but for something and with something. Everyone is a winner when done with pure heart intention, leadership, honesty, integrity and empathetic relating to yourself and others.
What’s your power word for 2017?
Do you feel it? There are glimpses of light coming into being through thick darkness within and without. As we sit in silence on the longest night of the year we feel the heart of light beating with hope and anticipation. It stretches its rays into new possibilities with a promise of warmth and joy. As we sip on sweet wines and fill ourselves with heart-warming goodness we are grateful for what we did have, have now and what is yet to manifest.
The end of this year has been hard not too dissimilar to the rest of this year and I will be glad to see the end of it. I feel hopeful with Yule knocking on the door and candles shining their way forward for me and my family.
In the last two years the period between Samhain and Yule has been filled with grief, terror and fearful heart, intense emotional ups and downs, physical health also suffered. During this period I found my wounds’ bleeding intensified and it has been harder to see clearly. A period where nothing seem to help to relieve pain and dark emotions, nothing is left but to surrender. It provided me with valuable lessons and insights into what patterns occur during this time of year for me and made me think of ways to change things, to integrate and heal.
Here is hoping for a change in direction, for a clearer view and a warm up of the heart with a new light being born. I feel quietly excited and in need to be propelled into action, creativity and immersing myself into new projects and possibilities.
This Yule I am travelling to Glastonbury Tor, a place, which called me. I wait to see what I bring back with me from the trip along with a sparkle of a new born light.
I had a dream, which spoke of the masculine energy. It was full of symbols, spiritual foresight, alchemy, the state of inner world and Runes language.
Dreaming of a house or dwelling shows up a state of our inner world at any given moment. I often dream of houses and depending on where I am in life it changes, from a derelict ruin to magnificent palaces filled with space and gold, from towers to small cottages, from small buildings to multi-stored blocks of flats.
Last night it was a perfectly formed, compact flat in an ancient building full of history and spirits. Something like this
I remember touching its exposed old walls and feeling a sense of awe and joy of living in such a sacred place. I felt a sense of legend, wise men and education surrounding me. I had to climb to the dwelling through dark and narrow corridors till I reached the flat I was to call my home and when I made it inside and came up to a an open window I saw the world right in front of me. I could see for miles and horizon spread in front of me filled with beautiful golden light. It felt magnificent and my heart sand with gratitude and peace.
There was a man in my dream, who wanted me to draw a symbol in the air with my hand. He was giving me instructions on how to do it and I managed to produce one after several attempts. It was this
Meaning: Meaning: movement, work, growth.
URUZ (reference: sunnyway.com)
Uruz: (U: Auroch, a wild ox.) Physical strength and speed, untamed potential. A time of great energy and health. Freedom, energy, action, courage, strength, tenacity, understanding, wisdom. Sudden or unexpected changes (usually for the better). Sexual desire, masculine potency. The shaping of power and pattern, formulation of the self.
This, to me, speaks of the presence of masculine energy within me and how aligned it is with the current season before the Oak king is born again into light on the 21st December. This energy is familiar to me and one of great achievements and productivity. Winter is a highly creative time for me when I do most of my writing and I feel very energetic working on various projects and collecting ideas for manifesting. I often light a Red candle during this time to aid me in my Fire element of productivity, strength and determination.
It is the time for me when my inner world forms into whole, masculine and feminine together and shows me how masculine energy is often misunderstood and misinterpreted. There are stereotypes of what a man or a woman should be, what qualities they should portray and which they should hide. My dreams often show me how to break through those stereotypes and look within for what it means for me and what is of value to me at the time. The man in my dream was not perfect, was not strong or ‘together’, if anything he was a bit lost, unsuccessful yet holding his head high and opening his big heart. His voice gentle, not booming and strong, full of offering support and encouraging me to make my own choices. It keeps the door open for me, invites me to step into my own masculine power whatever that might mean for me. I have to spend some time after such dreams in quiet contemplation to make sure I really hear him with no judgement.
Approaching sacred time of Winter Solstice when we welcome light into the world once again, look within for your own light and what it means to you. How can you manifest what stirs within your soul in your daily activities and relationships? Is it family, is it creative projects or finding a new way to be, is it consolidating all your resources and feeling yourself as a whole being ready to step on a path of spiritual and Earthly wisdom.
Remember, in dreams what matters very much is how they make your feel. Your emotions and after-dream states are pointers towards what is to be learnt and what to pay attention to.
header image: http://typotic.com/i/dream-world-for-love/
On grief and winter
From a bereavement counsellor to a bereavement client in one day. Grief carries no warning, death does not wait, time does not stop, nothing stays the same, nothing lasts. Things change from one minute to the next and all we are left with is the present moment, just now.
Having sat opposite people in grief for years I suddenly got it more than I ever did before. I experienced bereavement when younger and, yes, it always gripped me to the core and it was something that did not just pass I had to live it every day, work through it every day for many years, 7 years seems to be the number for me. Here it was again, in my face, unapologetic, under my skin and everywhere in my body and I froze. I knew I could not accompany anyone on their grief journey for the time being, not now, not for a while. I was the client now in need of a counsellor.
Emotions consume you within seconds, you don’t ask for it, you don’t expect it yet you feel it so deeply you might not even recognise yourself in that moment. It is often unreal and you question how life was a minute ago, nothing will ever be the same again. It is strikingly profound.
As I handed my notice I felt a wave of emotion, a wave of pain for me, not for my clients or friends or family, but me. I was IN it. The thing with grief you think you will be ok, you prepare, you tell yourself things, you philosophise on what approach you might take and you apply various beliefs to the journey of life and death, but nothing, nothing prepares you for it and the reason is – emotions have no reason, they just are. They are raw and in need of expression. They take over your body, your mind, your soul and one has to lay in bed with it all feeling like drowning, falling. The sunshine dims and curtains close just like when a coffin is covered with a sliding curtain ready for cremation. Is this it?
For many this is the end and for many it is a beginning of something new. The truth is it is both, the end of something and the beginning of something. Life and death walk together always. There is never one without the other. The Sun rises every day giving birth to the light and disappears every night extinguishing its shining, but the stars are born and darkness is welcomed by all of us sleeping and resting. Grief draws us into the dark place, into the place of pain, questioning and searching. A bit like winter time, which rules the land in its sleeping and invites us into the darkness of our thoughts and emotions. We are thrown into ourselves to dwell on our year past, reflect on all that touched us and got us here to this moment. In winter we are helpless with it all, some like it others crave light and sunshine and that’s ok. Both have meaning and lessons and so grief also teaches us to reflect, how to really feel and miss someone deeply who is never to walk the Earth again. Nothing teaches us more about life than death. Grab it with both hands, I say, run with it invigorated by knowing that each day will never come again. Create, breathe deeply, notice, most of all notice and feel all there is to see and feel around you. Engage with life hungrily knowing that all those that left their bodies are now within us. They are woven into tapestry of our lives forever and we will carry their spirit till it is time for us to hand it over to someone else. The cycle continues. The wheel turns on the 22 December and the light comes back again.
Live, breathe, feel
Blessed Yule and Winter Solstice!