Personal power word for 2017

 During Winter Solstice I connected strongly with the warrior side of me and the archetypal energy of The King Arthur. He’s loyal, devoted, honourable, noble, has humility, just, fair, super brave, protector and nurturer of his kingdom and people. He’s been coming to me for a few weeks before Yule and I was called to visit Glastonbury Tor, a place I never thought of yet the message was so clear I had to go. Following callings of the land is something I do openly and easily now in my spiritual practice. It always pays off and makes sense when I merge with energies that summon me. 
  
    
 Winter is a masculine energy season for me. It is about colour red and Fire element qualities – vibrant, dynamic, passionate and action-driven. It is about setting goals to benefit my growth in service of my life and those around me. I connect with the noble young king within. The night before Yule he came to me in a dream and with a passionate kiss he proclaimed his commitment to the land and his life purpose of protecting weak and vulnerable, to fight against injustice and honour all those that came before him, carrying on the legacy of warriors of his Kingdom.

The word WIN came to me while sitting outside looking over a field which stretches beyond my garden. I saw sticks of a tree painting letter W in the misty atmosphere of the morning. It felt complete, clear and felt in the body. I saw a knight on horseback in red cape galloping away from the site. 

I have been aligning with my desire for a certain job, which has felt like destiny for a few years and the feeling is that 2017 is a portal for manifesting that desire. Exciting. 
Win with your heart and intention alongside doubts and fears, win not over them but with them, win together what is meant for you, for your home and family. Win with your abilities and skills, your passion and love for the land and the people. Win so you can give, spread the light further. Win with hard work and dedication and razor sharp focus on what’s meant to be in my grasp. 

Win through learning, relating, engaging and connecting with all that is available. Win through the open heart of dedication to the craft and love for nature. 
Win, win, win not against something but for something and with something. Everyone is a winner when done with pure heart intention, leadership, honesty, integrity and empathetic relating to yourself and others. 

What’s your power word for 2017? 

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Happy Winter Solstice 

Keep the light strong and warm around you and within you 

  
   
  

Transition into light

winter

Do you feel it? There are glimpses of light coming into being through thick darkness within and without. As we sit in silence on the longest night of the year we feel the heart of light beating with hope and anticipation. It stretches its rays into new possibilities with a promise of warmth and joy. As we sip on sweet wines and fill ourselves with heart-warming goodness we are grateful for what we did have, have now and what is yet to manifest.

The end of this year has been hard not too dissimilar to the rest of this year and I will be glad to see the end of it. I feel hopeful with Yule knocking on the door and candles shining their way forward for me and my family.

In the last two years the period between Samhain and Yule has been filled with grief, terror and fearful heart, intense emotional ups and downs, physical health also suffered. During this period I found my wounds’ bleeding intensified and it has been harder to see clearly. A period where nothing seem to help to relieve pain and dark emotions, nothing is left but to surrender. It provided me with valuable lessons and insights into what patterns occur during this time of year for me and made me think of ways to change things, to integrate and heal.

Here is hoping for a change in direction, for a clearer view and a warm up of the heart with a new light being born. I feel quietly excited and in need to be propelled into action, creativity and immersing myself into new projects and possibilities.

This Yule I am travelling to Glastonbury Tor, a place, which called me. I wait to see what I bring back with me from the trip along with a sparkle of a new born light.

Blessed Yule!

Yule Readings 

  

I am offering readings for a short period of time just before Yule, in time to hear what’s coming through and what needs to meet with the light ahead. 

Customised and personalised to your questions at the end of this difficult year. Big changes coming and shifts are about to take place. 

I will use a mixture of tools, creative techniques and most of all my intuition to bring messages to you from the source and your higher self.

Message me! 

~ Raw Pagan 

Dreams speak in symbols

I had a dream, which spoke of the masculine energy. It was full of symbols, spiritual foresight, alchemy, the state of inner world and Runes language.

HOUSE

Dreaming of a house or dwelling shows up a state of our inner world at any given moment. I often dream of houses and depending on where I am in life it changes, from a derelict ruin to magnificent palaces filled with space and gold, from towers to small cottages, from small buildings to multi-stored blocks of flats.

Last night it was a perfectly formed, compact flat in an ancient building full of history and spirits. Something like this

I remember touching its exposed old walls and feeling a sense of awe and joy of living in such a sacred place. I felt a sense of legend, wise men and education surrounding me. I had to climb to the dwelling through dark and narrow corridors till I reached the flat I was to call my home and when I made it inside and came up to a an open window I saw the world right in front of me. I could see for miles and horizon spread in front of me filled with beautiful golden light. It felt magnificent and my heart sand with gratitude and peace.

SYMBOLS/RUNES

There was a man in my dream, who wanted me to draw a symbol in the air with my hand. He was giving me instructions on how to do it and I managed to produce one after several attempts. It was this

Meaning: Meaning: movement, work, growth.

URUZ (reference: sunnyway.com)

Uruz: (U: Auroch, a wild ox.) Physical strength and speed, untamed potential. A time of great energy and health. Freedom, energy, action, courage, strength, tenacity, understanding, wisdom. Sudden or unexpected changes (usually for the better). Sexual desire, masculine potency. The shaping of power and pattern, formulation of the self.

This, to me, speaks of the presence of masculine energy within me and how aligned it is with the current season before the Oak king is born again into light on the 21st December. This energy is familiar to me and one of great achievements and productivity. Winter is a highly creative time for me when I do most of my writing and I feel very energetic working on various projects and collecting ideas for manifesting. I often light a Red candle during this time to aid me in my Fire element of productivity, strength and determination.

MASCULINE

It is the time for me when my inner world forms into whole, masculine and feminine together and shows me how masculine energy is often misunderstood and misinterpreted. There are stereotypes of what a man or a woman should be, what qualities they should portray and which they should hide. My dreams often show me how to break through those stereotypes and look within for what it means for me and what is of value to me at the time. The man in my dream was not perfect, was not strong or ‘together’, if anything he was a bit lost, unsuccessful yet holding his head high and opening his big heart. His voice gentle, not booming and strong, full of offering support and encouraging me to make my own choices. It keeps the door open for me, invites me to step into my own masculine power whatever that might mean for me. I have to spend some time after such dreams in quiet contemplation to make sure I really hear him with no judgement.

Approaching sacred time of Winter Solstice when we welcome light into the world once again, look within for your own light and what it means to you. How can you manifest what stirs within your soul in your daily activities and relationships? Is it family, is it creative projects or finding a new way to be, is it consolidating all your resources and feeling yourself as a whole being ready to step on a path of spiritual and Earthly wisdom.

Remember, in dreams what matters very much is how they make your feel. Your emotions and after-dream states are pointers towards what is to be learnt and what to pay attention to.

Blessings!

header image: http://typotic.com/i/dream-world-for-love/

On grief and winter

grief and winter

On grief and winter

From a bereavement counsellor to a bereavement client in one day. Grief carries no warning, death does not wait, time does not stop, nothing stays the same, nothing lasts. Things change from one minute to the next and all we are left with is the present moment, just now.

Having sat opposite people in grief for years I suddenly got it more than I ever did before. I experienced bereavement when younger and, yes, it always gripped me to the core and it was something that did not just pass I had to live it every day, work through it every day for many years, 7 years seems to be the number for me. Here it was again, in my face, unapologetic, under my skin and everywhere in my body and I froze. I knew I could not accompany anyone on their grief journey for the time being, not now, not for a while. I was the client now in need of a counsellor.

Emotions consume you within seconds, you don’t ask for it, you don’t expect it yet you feel it so deeply you might not even recognise yourself in that moment. It is often unreal and you question how life was a minute ago, nothing will ever be the same again. It is strikingly profound.

As I handed my notice I felt a wave of emotion, a wave of pain for me, not for my clients or friends or family, but me. I was IN it. The thing with grief you think you will be ok, you prepare, you tell yourself things, you philosophise on what approach you might take and you apply various beliefs to the journey of life and death, but nothing, nothing prepares you for it and the reason is – emotions have no reason, they just are. They are raw and in need of expression. They take over your body, your mind, your soul and one has to lay in bed with it all feeling like drowning, falling. The sunshine dims and curtains close just like when a coffin is covered with a sliding curtain ready for cremation. Is this it?

For many this is the end and for many it is a beginning of something new. The truth is it is both, the end of something and the beginning of something. Life and death walk together always. There is never one without the other. The Sun rises every day giving birth to the light and disappears every night extinguishing its shining, but the stars are born and darkness is welcomed by all of us sleeping and resting. Grief draws us into the dark place, into the place of pain, questioning and searching. A bit like winter time, which rules the land in its sleeping and invites us into the darkness of our thoughts and emotions. We are thrown into ourselves to dwell on our year past, reflect on all that touched us and got us here to this moment. In winter we are helpless with it all, some like it others crave light and sunshine and that’s ok. Both have meaning and lessons and so grief also teaches us to reflect, how to really feel and miss someone deeply who is never to walk the Earth again. Nothing teaches us more about life than death. Grab it with both hands, I say, run with it invigorated by knowing that each day will never come again. Create, breathe deeply, notice, most of all notice and feel all there is to see and feel around you. Engage with life hungrily knowing that all those that left their bodies are now within us. They are woven into tapestry of our lives forever and we will carry their spirit till it is time for us to hand it over to someone else. The cycle continues. The wheel turns on the 22 December and the light comes back again.

Live, breathe, feel

Blessed Yule and Winter Solstice!

Winter Solstice

Winter Solstice Walk

    photo 1

As I walk through nature on the eve of Winter Solstice I feel the pulling and pushing, defending and releasing. There’s a real fight going on between life and death, darkness and light. All is not calm, all is not settled in the howling wind and crows frantic in the air circling the Earth. Energies are high, loud and penetrating. On the search for an object to represent New, represent light and virgin to set intentions for new beginnings.

I sit in the open space being pushed from side to side by the wind as if rocking me to feel everything around me and I do. I sit for a while and take in the turbulence of emotion outside and inside of me. I stand up and walk towards a horse standing by the fence, it gently looks at me and continues to chew on grass with no concern or worry. I begin to feel a certain release of tension and look down. Here it is, right in front of me, the object I have been looking for to use in the New Moon ritual. A stone, which energy is gently rising towards my awareness. I pick it up and put it in my pocket. It feels just right where it is. I breathe a sigh of relief and smile.

Gentle chattering of branches and distant bird songs, a little twit here and there amidst the strong wind. It feels cosy though. I am smiling, my pace is slower and something is released in me as I continue on the path of today.

I feel I am not alone, there are energies surrounding me, beings peaking from behind trees and I feel amused and smiling towards the sky. Collecting attire for my Yule log I come across nature jewels and with thanks I carry it safely with me.

berries

Forest spreads its welcoming arms open in front of me and I hear noises of joy and peace. The wind is now behind me with its threatening howls. Squirrels acrobatically scatter through the trees, as if playing hide and seek. They sit and stare before shooting off again into the labyrinth of branches.

I feel the urge to climb a beautiful giant of tree in front of me. It is enticingly open and vibrates warmth towards me. I must touch it. It vibrates under my fingers and feels like home.
I often shapeshift with trees, who are my safest haven. I feel the wind, the earth, the rain and heat – whole elemental experience from the position of a tree. My experience is intoxicatingly knowing and in perfect alignment.

I turn off the path with renewed curiosity and the cooing of wild life invites me to explore further. There’s a knocking sound coming from my left, I am aware I am about to receive something. Ahh, there it is, It is a clearing towards light and air changes into clean, sudden wisps of beautiful flow. Softness replaces hardness, fierceness gives way to gentleness.

I find myself rooted on the spot, there is more for me here, patience. The wind drops completely and I fall into a state of semi-sleepiness with
only sounds of nature surrounding my senses. The Earth is moist, my heart softens even further. I touch the ground and it is a mixture of old and new, ripe and decayed, soft and hard – all polarities making whole in the Earth which is ALL…

grass

The word ‘Love’ comes into my awareness and what’s this? A bit of Sun?The sky is opening up with tender light, slowly… It smells like wet moss and soil with a hint of flowery scent and woody deliciousness. It is familiar and it triggers childhood memories of picking mushrooms in late autumn, moistness of the ground.

The trees above are waving good bye to me as I walk out of the clearing and towards some houses ahead. I smile and bow.

tree waving

Something is stuck in my throat, I begin to cough, something is wanting to come out – unsaid emotional pain, anger, sadness, something unexpressed wanting to be released
– a lesson from the Earth I hear. ‘Sit with it, release it free and breathe easy through the belly of the solar plexus’. I hear it, I breathe in deeply and feeling somewhat dizzy I sense all that is suppressed. In the woods I breathe
easy, outside I choke – how telling…

Next I am entering the forest again and I soon find myself feeling stronger, walking taller, with my voice waiting to erupt from my chest like a lion’s roar. I feel that Fire and follow its call into a big scream, a scream for life, a scream for love and all things just and patient. My body tingles
with the glow of gold.

I might be breathless, but I am strong
I might be fierce but I belong with all my softness and tender touch to
thee, the Earth, the universal light.

I can feel a light being behind me flowing with the wind and blessing my steps as I leave my sacred forest with renewed strength and vitality. I feel alive! Welcome light, welcome life!

photo 3