Accepting emotions as they are

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Having a ‘hate everyone’ day and what a curious place to be, I thought as i looked at a tree sticking two fingers up at me with its branches projecting back perfectly what I feel. I begin to wonder what this means, this place where connection is hard and unwanted, conversations don’t flow and feel like every word burns, stabs and spits into my face. Is it fear? Is it anxiety or is it helplessness? What does helplessness teach us? I automatically come to a ‘solution’ based vibration of allowing and surrender but is it what I want to feel or even able to today? Perhaps not. Sitting in the mud of your own shadow is tough but that’s all that I can do, if I further reflect on it, because trying to get out of it is not the answer, it only creates more ‘hate everyone’ and more anxiety and more resistance so I am back at surrender. Is it the right word? Allowing? How’s that? No… Perhaps there isn’t a word there is just a feeling that is present. It wants to be, seen and heard, acknowledged and not pushed away. I think, perhaps, like the feeling that decided to dominate my day is exactly what I need as a whole – to be seen, heard and not rejected. It is not separate from me and I am not separate from it. We are one, we are together me and I say

Be it the way you want to be
Flood my body with your murky juice of
Sadness, grief, frustration and disappointment
Be what you need to be and how you want to be today, as I am you and you are me and we are in this together in the place of deep discomfort and turbulence
When you want to roar I will roar with you
When you want to burn I will offer you my skin
When you slide into a state of freeze I will not try to melt you
We are whole, together and all is well in this day of negative emotion
As I wrote this out I feel better; much better feeling bitterness leaving my body slowly. I feel a reconnection to other parts of me, my heart and my power centre. I am ok.

 

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Intuition and writing 

Intuition is invaluable when partaking in writing. Something I am becoming aware more and more as I write more. It often feels similar to magic when you simply know what tools to use, how and when and results just come together. It is the same with words, which come when one is tuned into emotions in the moment. It works when there is no overthinking and spontaneous leaps are taken in narratives. For sure you edit and edit and more edit as you progress but that initial expression is often the most powerful, in my experience. Some words seem to come from nowhere and that is so exciting to me when writing. The same applies to scenes and characters.

Just like I would intuitively know what oil to use with what candle and what Goddess/God/deity would support my work, I sometimes hear words coming out of me which happen to be just right for what I am writing about.

My tip is not to think, but to feel and listen and free write. I also recommend free associations as often as possible with images, nature scenes, trees, seasons, just allow for whatever is called for to come through. I think it stimulates and trains your imagination. It feels like magic and your intuition is your magic, your inner knowing that offers what is needed when it is needed.